For Better or Worse
by VampyrusRed14l
Summary: An accident takes away the Anderson-Hummel-Berry's daughter and injures one of their own. Their daughter was gone, Kurt blames himself for her death. In the aftermath, an injury unseen by doctors takes away the last shred of hope that Blaine had left for a happy ending. Only one question remains...will he survive? I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

It was late at night and the eve of Rachel's big success at another Emmy Award. They were headed to the party where everyone was waiting for the results. It was dark and raining out, and Kurt was having a hard time keeping Elizabeth quiet in the back seat. Her grandfather Burt had given her some chocolate so she was very hyper and she had a ton of energy, just like her mother. Kurt and Blaine knew that's where she got it from.

They were driving on the last stretch of road before they got to the city block of the apartment when they hit a red light. Kurt stopped the car and turned around to keep Elizabeth from kicking the seat again.

"Come on Lizzy, you know that dirties the back of the seat." Kurt told her but she still didn't listen. Kurt was so focused on Elizabeth he didn't see the truck coming there way. The light turned green and he stepped on the gas peddle, not expecting there to be any idiotic drivers drinking. But, suddenly there was a big bang! He felt pain all over his left side and chest and then everything went black.

...

Everything was dark. Even though he couldn't see he felt disoriented. His head hurt a a lot! The loud, steady beep didn't help, only made it worse. After a moment he swore he could hear voices. They were muffled and deep and he couldn't understand what they were saying or who it was. He didn't know what was happening, he didn't remember where he was or why he was is so much pain. Then suddenly even more pain hit him like splitting a watermelon in two. He groaned and tried to open his eyes but, he was too weak.

Then, he heard another voice. It was clearer than before and he immediately recognized it. It was Blaine. Blaine! Blaine would know what was going on. Blaine would make the pain go away. He tried to open his eyes again but, was unsuccessful. So he tried to move his hand, his finger anything. He thought he moved his pointy finger on his right hand but there was no reaction. Until someone grabbed a hold of that hand. Then he heard Blaine's voice more clearer.

"Kurt." His voice was so low, so raspy as if he'd been crying. It sounded strained and painful. He wanted to see Blaine's face so badly but he was too weak, too tired. But, his urge to see his husband was stronger. Finally he opened his eyes, slowly. At first everything was blurry and a little too bright, but he pushed back the pain so he could see the man he loved. After a moment the hazy, teary eyed view of the ceiling cleared up. He turned his head and looked around until he could see Blaine. Kurt gave him what he thought was a smile.

Kurt tried to say Blaine's name but found that something was blocking his voice. After a moment everything became clear. he had a tube down his throat preventing him to speak or breath on his own. He looked at Blaine with frightened eyes and terror written all over his face. Blaine placed a hand on Kurt's head to reassure him, and he leaned in close.

"It's okay. It's helping you breath. Just relax okay? I'm here." Blaine had deep, dark bags under his eyes as if he had had no sleep in the last few days, maybe even a week or so. Kurt looked around the room some more feeling as if they weren't alone, and they weren't. He saw his father on the other side of his bed with Carole standing right beside him. He was so grateful for Carole coming into his life, he had a mother figure to look up to and bond with. He was glad that his and Blaine's daughter still had her mother. They was so grateful and lucky to have Rachel in their lives. She gave them a best friend and that best friend gave them a daughter.

Thinking of his daughter Kurt began to look around the room for her. He couldn't ask Blaine where she was so he looked at him with great desperation in his eyes. But, before he could try to communicate with his husband he began to suddenly feel extremely tired. His body felt very heavy and his eye lids even heavier. He tried to fight it. He tried to keep his eyes open to stay awake to be with his family and ask them where Elizabeth was but he soon lost. His eyes closed and he succumbed to the darkness.

...

Then next time that he woke up the tube in his throat was gone and the room was darker. He slowly opened his eyes, with a lot less effort than last time, and looked out the window and saw that it was night time. He rolled his head over to see Blaine sleeping in the chair next to his bed, holding his right hand. He wanted to call out to him but still felt too weak to try. So he just lied there, looking around the room to see if he could spot anyone else. To his relief, his father was still there. Carole must have gone home for the day, or night. And luckily he was awake too. Kurt wanted to get his fathers attention but he didn't want to wake Blaine up.

So he tried to move his arm towards his dad but it was stuck. He couldn't move it. He lifted his head to try and look at it but when he did a sharp pain ripped through his chest and he heaved. His dad must have heard his distress and was there in his line of sight in a second.

"Kurt!" He whispered. He placed on hand on his son's shoulder and tried to get him to open his eyes again and look at him.

"Kurt. Easy. Just stay still. Okay?" Kurt looked at his dad again and tears were in his eyes. He was in so much pain, and he was so confused and a little scared, he didn't know what was going on, or what was wrong with him, or what had happened to land him in here.

"Just rest Kurt. We'll explain everything later when you're a little stronger okay?" Kurt got tired of everyone telling him to just rest and hang on, so he tried to talk again.

"Wh-" That earned him a very rough cough that woke Blaine up. Blaine was up and by his side quickly.

"He's awake?" He asked Burt, he simply nodded.

"Hey." He looked as Kurt's blue eyes opened again and he couldn't help but smile.

"Bla-ne?" Kurt's voice was low and barely audible.

"Yeah it's me, Kurt. I'm here." Kurt coughed again and swallowed. He cleared his throat and tried talking again.

"Where is Lizzy?" It felt as if a hammer had slammed against Blaine's chest. He wasn't sure that Kurt could handle the news of his daughters death while in this state. He debated on what he should tell him. He looked at Burt for a little guidance.

"The doctor thinks you should rest some more, Kurt before you start talking normally again, okay? Why don't you just get some more sleep." Burt knew that Kurt would fight so the best thing to do with him was to just tell him the truth and let him take it in.

"Blaine." It took only that one word and the look Burt gave him, that Blaine knew, he needed to tell Kurt the truth.

"Kurt-" Blaine sighed and sat down on the bed, holding Kurt's hand.

"Kurt, you were in a car accident. You have some pretty bad injuries, and you've been in the hospital for a month and a half. You only just woke up about a week ago." Kurt's eyes widened in fear. A month! He couldn't believe it.

"What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing, baby. You have some injuries that will heal, it's just gonna take some time." Kurt thought that was okay enough for him to leave that part go. He can live with healing for a few months. He wanted to know why everyone was eluding his questions about their daughter.

"Lizzy?" Blaine tensed up and tears immediately filled his eyes. He looked down at their intertwined hands and squeezed Kurt's harder, but not too hard, he was still injured and didn't anymore injuries to add to the long list.

"Kurt, Lizzy was with you in the accident." Kurt felt his chest tighten and his stomach drop. Deep down he knew what Blaine was going to say but on the surface he hoped that he would say that she just needed some time to heal too, but life wasn't fair.

"Lizzy didn't...she didn't make it Kurt." There it was. The one sentence that would destroyed him. His daughter was dead, and it was because of him. Blaine was crying silently, tears streaming down his face. Kurt was frozen he didn't speak, he didn't cry he didn't move. He just sat there looked up at the ceiling. After a moment Blaine began to worry.

"Kurt?" He didn't reply.

"Kurt? Say something. Please." He still didn't give any response. It was like he was frozen in the bed not listening to anything else around him.

"Kurt? Son. Come on kiddo. We need you to say something." But they didn't get an answer.

No one got an answer or any type of reply. Everyone tried. Rachel tried, Mr. Schuester tried, Sam tried, Mercedes tried, even Quinn tried, so did Puck. They all did. Some of them even sang a song for him and for Lizzy's honor. Karofsky showed up one day. He brought balloons. Sue even went to see him. She talked a little smoother than she usually did, due to the situation. But, no one could get a response from him.

One day Blaine, Burt, Rachel, Sam and Mercedes wee all in the room with Kurt. He was staring out of the window watching the rain. Everyone was quiet except for Blaine. He had kept trying to get Kurt to talk, to say something. He just kept talking about the usual things that they talked about not forcing him or anything. Until he finally got so frustrated at his husbands silence that he couldn't take it anymore.

"Come on,Kurt, please say something! What is it that you want? What do you need?" Kurt suddenly looked over at Blaine with tear filled eyes. Finally a response. But, what Kurt said, was nowhere near what they were expecting to hear from him.

"I want Finn." Everyone sat there in silence. No one moved, no one spoke a word. They sat there looking at Kurt like he had grown two heads. Kurt silently began to cry, tears just cascading down his cheeks. He didn't whimper, he didn't cry out. He simply just let the tears fall while he lied in that bed trying to heal from something that there's just no coming back from. He had lost his mother, he almost lost his father, he then lost his brother, and now he's lost his daughter. He felt that the people that he loved and cared about the most were slowly dying off and leaving him all alone.

Blaine said nothing, only pulled Kurt's hand close to him and leaned forward to place a kiss on that hand. Burt lowered his head in remembrance of his step son. One who he had come to love as his own. Rachel began to tear up as well, holding onto Mercedes tightly. Sam walked over to Blaine and placed a hand on his shoulder. Kurt just simply turned his head and went back to watching the rain fall.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been another month before he finally got to go home. He hadn't said a word since surprising everyone by saying that he wanted Finn. No one could get an answer from him, not even Blaine. Everyone had tried to get him to talk, but nobody was able to. So they decided to just keep talking like normal until he could talk again. But, even though they had come up with that plan, they still worried that his grief was going to take him down a dark road.

Blaine wheeled Kurt inside their apartment, Burt and Carole, Rachel and Jesse following right behind them. Blaine stopped in the middle of the room and set the bags on the couch. He looked at Kurt who was just looking down into his lap. He rubbed his hands on his jeans nervously as he walked over to his husband. He didn't know why he was so nervous, he had never been this nervous around Kurt before. He never really had a reason to be _this_ nervous around him.

He knelt down in front of him, trying to get Kurt to say something again, to maybe even look at him. His eyes were hopeful, his expression full of desperation.

"Hey. Do you want something to eat? You must be pretty hungry. I know you hate the hospital food, you always have." At first he didn't say anything at all. Blaine waited one more second before he stood up to go see if the others were hungry. No one wanted food so Blaine decided to make a good cup of coffee for everyone.

None of them wanted to leave. Rachel couldn't bring herself to. She knew that she was more Blaine and Kurt's daughter, and Kurt would've gotten upset if he heard her say that out loud. He was so grateful that he made sure Rachel knew that Elizabeth was her daughter too, no matter what. Kurt was the last person to see their daughter, he was the last connection to her for Rachel, and he is her best friend so naturally she won't leave his side until he says otherwise.

Everyone sat on the couch and on the chairs with the T.V running on some news channel that no one was watching. Kurt had moved his chair by the living room entrance and just sat there. He didn't watch the T.V, he didn't say anything at all. Blaine reached for the remote and turned it off. He walked over and decided to start a fire. A good calming fire would help the mood, he hoped.

Suddenly the door knocked and Blaine let Artie, Mercedes, Puck, Sam and Tina inside. He took their coats and they walked in a few feet. Rachel stood and walked over to hug each of them sniffling and hiccuping. Burt hugged Carole close thinking about their granddaughter. Mercedes slowly walked up to Kurt to see if he would say anything yet. She knelt down to see if he would look at her.

"Hey, Kurt. How are you feeling?" He didn't respond in any type of way. Her face had such a sorrowful look upon it that Sam stepped in.

"Mercedes, just give him some time." She reached out and grabbed his hand and they walked into the living room. Artie smiled at Kurt as he wheeled on by. He was so nervous that he accidentally bumped into Kurt's chair and Kurt let out a sharp hiss of pain. Blaine was immediately there by his side.

"Kurt are you okay?" He asked. Blaine hoped that when Kurt finally looked at him, he would see a bright smile at least, but instead he got a a cutthroat glare of physical and emotional pain along with slight self-incrimination. As if he had betrayed Blaine, and he knew right then; Kurt blamed himself for their daughters death. He knew then that Kurt was worse off than anyone thought, and it was going to be a very long road to recovery for them, even more so for Kurt.

Kurt wheeled away in silence, not looking at anyone or anything. Everyone watched the scene unfold and watched as Kurt left the room. They all stood there in shock of what they saw. The Glee club alumni felt heartache for their crestfallen friend. Mercedes silently cried for her best friend, Sam wrapping an arm around her. Tina and Artie just held hands in comfort. Jesse stood behind Rachel who wasn't crying, she was just standing there watching Kurt wheel himself away and then stared at the spot he just occupied. Burt and Carole looked at each other uneasily and Burt couldn't help but feel like he let his son down by not being able to bring him out of whatever dark place he was in.

Blaine just stood frozen in the same spot that Kurt had left him. He had never seen an expression like that on his face. It killed him to know that Kurt thought of himself as the reason why they again had no child. For the second time in his life he didn't know what to do.

With tears in his eyes and now two holes in his heart he turned around to look at everyone. He saw their faces and he suddenly felt as if he couldn't breath. The room seemed so much smaller than when they first moved in. All of a sudden he didn't care for the room. He needed to get out of there, but he didn't want anyone to think that something was wrong. He took a deep breath and decided that there wasn't anything he could do, for now.

"Does anyone need anymore coffee?" He asked. He waited about a second and then decided to go ahead and make a fresh pot anyway. He got to the kitchen and grabbed the pot from the dispenser and saw that there was still some hot steaming coffee in there. But, he needed the excuse to get away from everyone so he started to pour it out into the sink and didn't realize that he was pouring it too fast and some of it spilled onto his hand.

"AH!" He cried out quietly, and unsuccessfully. Carole was walking into the kitchen when she saw him.

"Here put it under cold water. I'll get a towel for your hand." She said walking towards him. She turned on the water and put his red, burning hand under the nice cool water. She reached around and opened a drawer and got a towel out and placed it on the counter next to her. After a few minutes they took his hand out and she wrapped it up in the towel.

"There. It'll sting a little while but, at least it's not burning anymore." She stood back and took a good look at Blaine. She didn't notice before that his eyes were droopy and there dark bags under them.

"Why don't I send everyone home for you, so you can get some rest. I'm sure Kurt would rather be home alone with his husband than with a bunch of us hovering around."

"Thank you Carole. I appreciate everything you're doing for us."

"Of course. Blaine, I know that Kurt needs you right now. I know that he is in a lot of pain and will need his husband whenever he's ready to talk but, you need the same thing. You lost a daughter too. That's what Burt and I are here for, and your friends. We're here because you both need support of family and friends. Blaine, you are a part of my family and I protect and help my family in any way that I can no matter what. Now Burt and I are staying at a hotel nearby for a about a week or so. If you need anything, you call us okay?" He nodded and took a deep breath.

"Okay, sweetie." She hugged Blaine and he hugged her back. They let the moment linger a little longer, not wanting to let go until she had to. She cupped his face just like any mother would and walked towards the living room. After a moment, Sam and the others came in and gave Blaine a hug and told him to call them if they needed anything else.

"I'll go with Rachel, make sure that she's ok. She doesn't blame you and Kurt, Blaine. Okay? Just make sure that you and Kurt know that. She's just grieving too." Mercedes smiled and gave him another hug and left. Blaine followed them out to the front door with Burt standing beside him. Burt turned and grabbed a hold of Blaine's shoulder as if to comfort a son.

"Keep an extra eye on him. I know you saw that expression on his face earlier. I've seen it before." Blaine looked at him confusingly.

"When his mother died, he went around believing that she left because of him. I think he thought that she left because she knew that he was different. He didn't really understand everything back then, but he knew that he was different, so he still blamed himself. He did the same thing with Finn. For days he didn't say word to any of us and just walked around like a zombie not really knowing how to be himself anymore. It's gonna take you, and everyone else to help remind him that he is not to blame for Elizabeth, and of who he is. It's gonna take a lot and it's gonna take a while, but he'll get there. Just don't do anything out of the ordinary. He'll start talking on his own, just bare with him. And when he does start talking, make sure that you're talking too. He's not the only one who has lost a daughter." By the time Burt was finished, they were both crying. Burt hugged him tightly.

He hugged him for the loss of their son, for the loss of his granddaughter, for the pain they were both going through, for the loss of Finn even. Things like this tended to make everyone think about Finn. How could they not. Especially when the only thing Kurt has said was that he wanted Finn. It brought back some memories for all of them. And with those memories came the pain of losing him, too. No one was really sure how to deal with that. They had been able to at least come to terms with Finn's passing and get to an 'ok' place about it. But, now they had to do the same thing all over again, and not just for Finn, but for Elizabeth.

They let go and gave each other a weak smile and Burt walked out the door. Blaine stood there for a second. He then walked into the living room which was quiet and still. He wasn't used to it being so calm. There were no toys strayed out across the floor, there were no songs being sung by so precious a voice, there was no little angel dancing in her favorite ballerina dress. It brought tears to his eyes when he thought about her dancing all around the house. Blaine turned and faced the kitchen and swore he could see Lizzy dancing her way into the kitchen and Kurt give her a small piece of whatever it was he was cooking for dinner. The memory made him smile and he could feel the tears cascading down his cheeks. He didn't move to wipe them away or to stop himself from crying, he just stood there, remembering and mourning for his daughter.

Blaine didn't see Kurt slowly wheel back into the hallway and into the foiyay to see Blaine standing and staring at the kitchen. He glanced inside to try to see whatever it was that he was looking at but saw nothing. Then suddenly he remembered all the fun times they had in that kitchen. He thought of the many times when he would play music for Lizzy to practice her ballet while he was cooking.

"You wanted to get onto her because she was always so full at dinner without eating half of her food." The surprise of his voice made Blaine jump slightly as he turned around to see Kurt looking at the kitchen. It touched him that they were thinking about the same memories.

"But, really she was full because I let her sneak some pieces of what I was cooking while she was practicing her ballet." Kurt let free a small teary smile. Blaine walked slowly over to Kurt and placed his hands on Kurt's knees.

"I know. I would stand at the doorway and watch. I always thought of how I could have been so lucky to have everything that I ever wanted." Blaine smiled lovingly at the memory. But, Kurt's smiled faded quickly.

"Something I took away from you." He said bitterly as he began to wheel away from Blaine. Blaine stood quickly and walked towards the hallway.

"From _us._ And _you_ didn't take her away from us. That bastard who was drinking and driving did! He also had so many drugs in his system that it killed him too!" Kurt stopped when Blaine moved to stand in front of him blocking his way into the bedroom.

"You're not the only one who lost a daughter, Kurt. _We_ lost a daughter. We both lost her. You can't blame yourself for something that you had no control of."

"You're right. I didn't have control. I should've swerved out of the way. I could've took a different road, I could've just called a taxi! Either way she's gone because of me, she's dead because of me!"

"Baby no she's not! You are not to blame for this. No one could've missed that truck unscathed. They said that they were lucky enough to have saved you. And I am eternally grateful to at least have my husband who I wish I can grieve for our daughter with." That last sentence made Kurt look at Blaine a different way. He didn't realize that Blaine was hurting so much. 'Why wouldn't he be, stupid?! He lost his daughter too! He needs you just as much as you need him, you just can't admit it', Kurt thought to himself.

Kurt was unsure of how he really felt. He knew that he felt responsible for their daughters death. He also felt that no one should forgive him, which he secretly, deep down hoped that they would forgive him. What he was failing to realize though, was that there was nothing to forgive. But, he still believed that he didn't deserve their forgiveness, especially Blaine and Rachel's.

Rachel.

Her daughter had been snatched away from her too. He couldn't imagine what was going in her head. He couldn't imagine how she was feeling. Her best friend was responsible for her daughter's death. He wondered if she still cared about him. He wondered if she was even worried about him. A part of him knew that she was, no doubt. That part of him thought that it was foolish he thought that she wouldn't worry or care about him. There was no way he would forgive himself if Rachel and Blaine didn't.

Kurt let Blaine help into bed that night to try and rest. He wasn't sure that he would be able to sleep but, he had to try. If he didn't at least try, Blaine and his dad would bug him about it and make plans to ensure that he would sleep. Plus, he was just so darn tired, mentally and physically tired. Not to mention the pain medicine he was on was starting to wear off. He didn't want to tell Blaine though. He wasn't sure why.

So there he laid, thinking about the entire world. How it didn't recognize that his daughter was dead. Thinking about how no one blamed him for her death when he blamed himself. It was going to take a while to heal from this, and take even longer to get over the death of his daughter.

He knew that it would take a lot for them to get back to the way they were. They were all going to need each other during this time. They all had lost Elizabeth, and it was going to take a lot more than song to help them heal.


	3. chapter 3

It had been two weeks since Kurt came home from the hospital. He had begun to talk a little more than he had, a few words here and there, and only when he was asked a question. What was there to say? He had lost their daughter in a car accident. It was his job to protect her from things like that, to keep her safe. And he failed. He failed himself, his husband, Rachel, his parents, everyone who was involved with Elizabeth, which was pretty much everyone in his life. He didn't know what he could do, he didn't know what he was _supposed_ to do. How does someone figure out what they're supposed to do after losing a child?

What made everything worse, was that her funeral is just two weeks away. He was terrified! But how can he face them? How can he face the mother of his daughter who is his best friend? How is he supposed to look his father in the eye when he knows that he failed as a parent? He began to panic, thinking that everyone was going to blame him for her death and demand that he leave their lives forever. He clutched his chest trying to slow his breathing down. He couldn't! He had had these attacks before and he could usually control it, but for some reason today he couldn't!

He sat down on the floor trying to relieve the pressure from his chest, trying to get air into his lungs but nothing was working. He thought that this might be it. That this is what he deserved for not being there for his daughter when she needed him the most. Suddenly he felt hands on his shoulders and a muffled voice that sounded so far away. At that moment he didn't want that voice to go away, he wanted it to help him to breath. He didn't know what he really wanted in that moment more, to die for penance of what he did, or to live, and live with the guilt that came with being responsible for his daughter's death.

Blaine had just got home from the store. He had to get Kurt's medicine for his leg which was still healing. The cuts and bruising on his head had already started to fade but, he still needed to put cream on them so that they wouldn't scar. He walked into the kitchen and started putting some of the groceries away when he called out for Kurt to take his 6 p.m pills.

"Kurt? I've got your medicine. You need to take it before we eat dinner!" He called for Kurt. After he didn't get a response or see Kurt walk into the kitchen like he usually does, Blaine got worried. Of course he always worries about Kurt nowadays.

"Kurt?" He called again walking towards their bedroom. When he reached their room and pushed open the door he saw Kurt sitting on his knees on the floor clutching his chest struggling to breath! Blaine rushed to him and placed both his hand on his husbands shoulders.

"Kurt! Hey, easy Kurt! You have to calm down!" He said in an urgent yet calm voice. He didn't want to freak Kurt out and make him panic more. It felt like he was trying, really trying to breath but he just couldn't. Blaine thought in a split second and ran to Kurt's nightstand. He pulled out a inhaler and ran it over to Kurt.

"Kurt! Here take this! It will help you breath!" At first Kurt hesitated. He didn't want to take a stupid inhaler, there was no way that he needed that dumb thing. He would be fine if he could just get his breathing under control.

"Kurt it will help you to control your breathing, you can't do it on your own. Now take it, please!" Blaine started to feel tears pool up in his eyes. All the anger and frustration, the sorrow and the guilt, the mourning that he had built up inside just suddenly came out.

"Kurt please take the damn inhaler! I lost Elizabeth I can't lose you too! Now take it!" Kurt looked at him and in one motion, grabbed the inhaler and inhaled. After a minute he took another inhale of the inhaler and immediately started to feel relief and he could breath again. He took slow deep breaths and leaned back to rest against the bed. Blaine leaned up against the wall and slid down to the floor.

They sat there for a few minutes in complete silence. No one moved, no one said a word. Blaine felt like he was losing Kurt and he couldn't, he had already lost his daughter he couldn't lose his husband too. And Kurt felt like he was losing himself in the guilt. He felt that Blaine didn't want him anymore because he didn't save their daughter. He felt that no one wanted him anymore.

He hadn't talked to anyone since the day that he came home. No one called, no one came by, no one answered his phone calls. He thought, at first, that maybe they were just busy or mourning themselves, Elizabeth was a big part of all their lives, but then he thought that they weren't answering his calls because they didn't want to hear the voice of the man who had killed his daughter. He wanted to believe that they just wanted to give him and Blaine time and space to grieve and mourn, but he just couldn't believe that that's what was happening.

"I'll go and...take my meds." He said almost as a whisper. They both stood slowly and when Kurt stood up fully, he swayed and his vision blurred. Blaine reached out to catch him and Kurt grabbed his arms. Blaine steadied him and Kurt took a moment to gain his balance.

"Maybe you should lie down. I'll grab it for you." Kurt shook his head.

"No I'm fine. I can get it." Blaine let go for a second as Kurt started to walk and when he thought that Kurt swayed just a little he reached out again but Kurt pushed his arms away.

"I said I'm fine, Blaine!" They stood still for a second, both of them surprised at Kurt's outburst. He had never snapped at Blaine like that before. Blaine stood still where he was against the wall as Kurt left the room. Blaine was starting to get more and more worried about Kurt with each passing day.

Kurt had started to change. His personality was changing. He didn't sing anymore. He hadn't heard him sing a single note since the accident and he hadn't shown any interest in his designs. They had enough money saved up for them to be fine with only one of them working. Plus, Kurt was the owner of his own clothing line. His designers had everything under control. They knew what he liked and what he wanted so, he could miss all the work he needed to. But, it was the no interest in his work that bothered Blaine. Of course Blaine had a hard time with his job but his heart was leaning more into it than before, for his loss.

His job always made him feel better. It helped him, to sing about his feelings. It was who he was, it was his life. Kurt was the same way. But if only Blaine knew that when Kurt tried to sing, all he could think about was his daughter, and he can't fight back the tears so he can't finish the song. It hurt too much when he sang. It hurt because they all used to sing together, all the time. Wherever they were, whatever they were doing, they could sing their hearts out. But, since Kurt's heart was broken, so was his need to sing.

Blaine moved from where he was against the wall and walked out of their room, wanting to get away from where the scene occurred. He needed to get out of that house, it felt so stuffy in there. So he walked to the door and began to put his jacket and scarf on.

"I'm going for a walk, I'll be back in a little while." And with that he walked out the door. He stood on the other side of the door for a moment wanting so much to go inside and hug Kurt and get him to talk to him but, he knew he needed the space, so did Kurt. They both reminded each other of Elizabeth and it hurt to see each other so full of sorrow and pain. Blaine decided he needed to go on that walk, and he did. They would talk when he got back.

 **THE NEXT DAY**

Will had known that he wanted to do something for Kurt, Blaine and Rachel ever since he found out what had happened to Elizabeth. He too mourned for her death. She came over and played with their boys a lot and vice versa. He had grown to care for her like his niece. And Kurt and Blaine were a part of his family so naturally he wanted to do something for them to let them know that they have people who care and want to help in any way that they can.

He had called up all the original glee members and asked if they would do a Glee memorial for Elizabeth and all of them said yes. He knew they would, they always stuck by each other. He would've went to see Kurt and Blaine but he figured that they would need a little time on their own, to get their heads straight and to get to a good place before people started barging in and crowding them. In some cases it can do more harm than good to hover over the ones grieving, but then again, they sometimes need support and comfort from friends and family.

So for now he decided that they would put a memorial service together in Elizabeth's name, just as they did for Finn. When Will heard what Kurt's first words were after the accident, it brought tears to his eyes. Everyone knew how close Kurt and Finn were, they started out as friends but very soon, they became brothers. He understood the pain that Kurt felt when Finn passed away, and he understands his pain now. He couldn't imagine losing any of his kids.

Coming out of his thoughts, he began to write on the white board what songs they could do for the memorial, but then he stopped. He wanted to do the same thing they did for Finn, he would let them choose what song they had in their hearts. He wiped the board clean and just wrote, " _Elizabeth Hummel-_ _Anderson"._ He stepped back and looked at it. She was just so young when she left this world. She had so much potential, she hadn't even really lived yet. She won't be able to grow up and find a family of her own. This was going to be a hard road for Kurt, Blaine and Rachel, and he would be there whenever they needed him.

Emma, Coach Beiste, and Sue walked into the choir room carrying multiple bags. They didn't say anything at first, not really knowing what to say. They brought with them decorations for the choir room in support for the memorial service, and they wanted it to be what Elizabeth would've liked. Emma walked over and kissed her husband softly and comfortingly. He shook Coach Beiste's hand and Sue surprisingly walked over and gave a very emotional hug.

"How ya doin'?" She asked. They released each other and Sue looked at Will with curiosity on her face.

"As good as expected I guess. She was a part of our family so, we miss her a lot." He smiled at her and she smiled back. Whenever it came to Kurt and Blaine, Sue was _always_ there no matter what. She really did care for them. Ever since that time during Kurt's junior year at McKinley, during the Karofsky fiasco, she felt the need to protect him from anything that could harm him in any way. She couldn't explain it, maybe it had something to do with him taking a few chances on her and opening up to her during some of his most difficult times in high school.

"If there is anything that I can do, for _anyone_ , you let me know?" It was more of a question than request. She knew how people were with her, and she knew how hard and cruel she was to some of the students, but she did care for them as her own. He nodded appreciating her support for their kids.

Some of the glee kids walked in together carrying some bags with them. He suspected more decorations and flowers and candles for the vigil that they were going to place as well. As they each came in they said hi to each other and hugged, some tears were shed and quietly started to talk about Elizabeth, sharing memories. After another hour and a half they were only waiting on a few of them, Kurt and Blaine, Rachel and Jesse, Puck, Tina, and Mike.

Tina and Mike first came in with some stuffed animals and candles in bags. They held hands as they entered and went straight towards Mr. Schuester to give him a hug. Tina held on tight for a moment longer, missing the old days when things weren't so sad. They had lost Finn and Kurt and Blaine and Rachel has lost their child. She hated that so much pain had entered their little family and she wished that she could do something to help. She focused on that, trying to ease her own grief. She mourned for her friends.

Mike started helping the other boys get some of the big stuffed moved around so they could get ready for the others to show up and start the service. The funeral is in two weeks and no one is sure how that is gonna go. Some saw this service as a trial run to see how everyone might react at the funeral. Mostly to see how Kurt is going to handle it. Everyone knows that Kurt still blames himself, they could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice, the few times that they heard him speak.

So far Mr. Schue, Sue, Emma, Coach Beiste, Sam, Tina, Artie, Mike, Mercedes, Santana, Brittany, and Quinn had arrived and had already started to set up the memorial service. They waited on Puck who no one had seen much of. Everyone knew that he didn't handle death very well. His reaction to Finn's death had blew everyone's minds so they knew to leave him be until he could wrap his head around all of his emotions. No one knew that he had visited Kurt and Blaine a few times. He mostly hung out with Blaine and they went boxing together to let off some steam and anger. He knew that there was some in there still. Surprisingly he even got Kurt to talk to him a little. Of course it was mainly just extremely short sentences but that was more than anyone else could get him to say, except for Blaine.

Puck had a special bond with Kurt. He thought of him and Finn as brother's. He made it his duty to protect Kurt, to be there for him if he ever needed anything. With Finn, they were both in a lot of pain so it was hard to be around Kurt. When he was, it was hard to not let loose some of the anger he had built up. Deep down he knew that Kurt would be able to handle anything he threw at him, he was always able to handle whatever Puck threw at him. But, now it was Puck's turn to take what was being thrown at Kurt now and take the hit for him. He finally reached the choir room when he cleared his head of the negative thoughts and greeted everyone. He looked around the room and saw that Kurt, Blaine, Rachel, and Jesse weren't there yet.

"They're not here yet?" He asked to no one in particular. Everyone already knew who he was talking about. No one said anything.

"I'll call Blaine." Sam said and he stood from where he sat on the floor and walked out into the hallway. He pulled out his phone and dialed Blaine's number. It rang five times before someone answered.

"Hello?" Sam heard Blaine's voice and it sounded tired.

"Hey Blaine, it's me."

"Hey, Sam. We're on our way. We just had a...late start this morning. We'll be there soon, were almost there. Rachel and Jesse should be getting there soon, they cought the train before us."

"Dude, take all the time you need. This is for you, Kurt, and Rachel. You don't have rush. We'll have everything ready and set up for you when you get here." He could hear Blaine relax and sigh on the other end of the phone.

"Thanks, Sam." They were both quiet for a moment.

"How ya doin' buddy?" He heard Blaine take a deep breath and release it in frustration.

"I'm...fine, I guess. As fine as I can be. Just kinda feels like I'm stuck, ya know? Like I'm in this dark funk that I won't be able to get out of. She was my little girl, Sam. It's hard seeing her toys in the house knowing that she'll never play with them. But, I think the hardest thing right now is watching Kurt handle losing her. He's taking it way worse than me. Sometimes I feel like I'm not grieving enough for her."

"Blaine, don't think that. Kurt is...Kurt. He always takes things hard."

"It's just that, Sam. He still feels guilty. He feels like it's his fault that she died because he was driving the car."

"The other driver ran a red light, and he was high and drinking alcohol. How can it be Kurt's fault?" Sam asked confused.

"It's not, but he just doesn't see it that way. He thinks that because he couldn't stop the accident, it was his fault she died."

"Oh, well, we'll just have to show him that he's not the reason this happened. We'll figure something out, Blaine. I promise. Let's start with the memorial service. Maybe that will help."

"I hope so. Our stop is coming up. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Yeah, see ya soon buddy." With that they hung up the phone and Sam walked back in the choir room where Rachel and Jesse were greeting everyone. Rachel was hugging everyone and trying to keep from having a breakdown.

Rachel had lost her daughter. She had lost Kurt and Blaine's daughter. She was supposed to get Elizabeth from them the night before so that they could both go to the show together but she had to go to the theater and help on some repairs on the set. She felt bad about how hurt Kurt was and for Elizabeth.

She didn't know what Carole went through when she lost Finn, but she knew now what it felt like. And she didn't even think that she felt as much as Carole because Elizabeth was just a few years old, just started to make full sentences where as Finn was an adult. He was grown up and living his life. Jesse kept reassuring her that there's no different amounts of feeling for one's child. He told her that she was feeling the pain of a mother. There's no feeling part of it, there's no feeling half of it, she lost a child.

Immediately she had called her mother, Shelby. She talked to her for hours on end every day and every night. She felt the need to hear her mother's voice and feel her love. She didn't really understand her feelings all that well. She had went to spend a few nights with her dads, separately of course, since they divorced, after the news of Elizabeth. She couldn't bring herself to go see Kurt at the hospital every single night. It was hard for her to see her best friend lying in that hospital bed with so many injuries. She tried, but she just couldn't do it, breaking the silent promise to herself to stay by his side no matter what.

It was hard to look at Kurt at all for her. He was the last person to be with their daughter before she died. He was the last person to see her face, to hear her voice and her laugh. She honestly, kind of blamed Kurt for her death. She knew that he wasn't responsible, but for some reason, she blamed him. She couldn't help how she felt. It had started to fade already actually, her feeling of blame against Kurt. She heard how he was doing when she talked with Blaine and she knew that he too blamed himself for Elizabeth's death.

She couldn't bring herself to face Kurt. She felt guilty about blaming him. She was afraid that she would point blame right to his face and she didn't want to do that to him. She didn't want to chance ruining their relationship over the blame of their daughter's death. She had to tell him when she saw him at the memorial service how she felt. That she loved him no matter what, and that no one, not even himself, should blame him for the death of Elizabeth Hummel-Anderson.


	4. Chapter 4

Everyone had settled down after everything was set and ready for the memorial service. The candles were lit, the photos were in place, the decorations were up. There were photos of Elizabeth when she was born, her first day home from the hospital, her first few birthdays, her first day at school, etc. At the center, and the biggest picture of all, was a picture of Kurt, Blaine and Elizabeth outside their new home. It turned out to be everyone's favorite picture.

They had all started to talk amongst themselves, all sorts of different conversations. Burt, Carole, Blaine's mom, and Rachel's dad's were there already. All they waited for now was Kurt and Blaine. They had taken the train after Rachel and Jesse because they werre late getting out of the house. Kurt was having an especially bad day. The pain medication the doctor gave him wasn't working for some reason. Kurt's head was causing him a lot of pain and he couldn't find anything to relieve it. Blaine was having a hard time getting Kurt out of the house.

"Kurt, are you sure you're up for this? You're not feeling well. I'm sure everyone will understand if we stayed home." Blaine suggested.

"No, Blaine. I'm going. I _need_ to go. What would people think of the man who didn't go to the memorial service that his friends planned for his daughter?"

"Kurt. Nobody would judge you. They would understand."

"Blaine, I'm going. Please just help me get everything out to the car?" Kurt had intended to make it a strong demand but it was more of a request. Blaine looked at his husband, really looked at him. He had dark bags under his eyes, darker than his own. He looked underweight and exhausted. His features displayed feelings of pain. He had a bad feeling that this wasn't going to be a good idea.

"OK, I'll get your bags, go ahead and get ready. Let me know when you're done, I'll help you to the car." Kurt simply nodded, satisfied that he was successful in convincing Blaine that he was up to going to the memorial service. He knew that if he didn't go, he would forever feel guilty, so he _had_ to go.

Slowly he went back into their bedroom and finished getting dressed. He decided to go simple and old fashioned. He wore black skinny jeans and a plain, v-neck, black, long sleeve shirt, and black shoes. It hurt to put his shoes on as his leg was giving him even more trouble than his head. He stood up and all of a sudden a wave of nausea, dizziness and a deep aching pain in his leg overwhelmed him. He immediately sat back down on the bed already out of breath. His chest began to hurt a little and he thought he was going to have another panic attack, but he was able to control his breathing.

Blaine walked in to see if he was ready when he noticed Kurt in his disoriented state sitting on the bed. He set the bag he had in his hand on the floor next to the door and went over to Kurt.

"Hey, are you ok?" Slowly he kneeled down and place his hands on both of Kurt's knees, looking at Kurt's face to see if he was okay.

"Yeah. I'm...I'm fine. I just, I got a little dizzy." Kurt closed his eyes to try to keep from throwing up. He was rubbing his leg trying to get the pain to go away but was sadly unsuccessful. Blaine noticed both the defense against the nausea and the pain in his leg. He couldn't help but feel like a crappy husband because he couldn't take Kurt's pain away. He was even more upset that his medicine doesn't seem to be working.

The medicine only worked for a few minutes after taking it. At night, Kurt would be up until 3am tossing and turning trying to get comfortable enough to go to sleep. He's recently started to get out of bed and go to the living room where he wouldn't disturb Blaine's sleep.

It was hard to hear him in so much pain. And now, with the headaches, and dizziness and nightmares, Blaine was starring to get really worried. He came out of his thoughts and went back to Kurt.

"I'll grab you some gingerale." Blaine hurried to the kithcen and grabbed a bottle of gingerale and brought back it to Kurt. Kurt started to slowly drink it, and took a deep breath. It felt good on his sore and raw throat.

"How's that?"

"Better. I'm not dizzy anymore." Blaine sat on the bed next to his husband and rubbed his back soothingly. Kurt took the moment and leaned back against Blaine's chest. It felt warm and so so comfortable. He never wanted to move from that spot. He could hear Blaine's heartbeat inside his chest, he could feel his breathing, which was so calming. For that one moment, he forgot why they were so sad. Then it it hit him, and all the feelings he was having of sorrow, guilt, and pain came flooding back.

"I love you, Blaine." Blaine looked down at Kurt who was still leaning back against him and smiled a small smile. He hadn't heard Kurt say that in a long time. But, he hadn't said it either.

"I love you, too, Kurt. So much." They sat there a moment enjoying the closeness of each other. Blaine lifted his wrist to look at his watch.

"Okay, why don't you just sit tight for a minute, drink some more gingerale while I get the bags downstairs, okay? I'll go ahead and call the cab." Blaine slowly kissed the top of Kurt's forhead and Kurt relished in that quick moment. He made a mental note to just have a bunch of cuddle days with Blaine. He just wanted to sit on the couch, light the fireplace, watch some movies and cuddle with Blaine until he fell asleep. He didn't want to go out into the world, he didn't want to be around a bunch of people, even though they were their friends. He wanted to be alone with his husband. He just wanted Blaine.

He watched as Blaine grabbed their bags and walked out of the room. He took a few sips of the gingerale and made sure that he was clear to walk. He slowly stood, half expecting to pass out, but he was fine. His leg hurt a little more, but he managed to walk out of the bedroom and to the foiyay. They had a grey bench that they usually set their bags on or sat to put on their shoes, so Kurt sat there, waiting for blaine to get back from hailing a cab. It didn't take long for Blaine to walk back inside and throw the shoulder strap of their last bag over his shoulder to help Kurt stand, and walk out to the cab. They were getting when the cab driver started speaking.

"Where to?" The gruffy, almost smelley cab driver, chewing gum and smacking his lips disgustingly asked.

"Train station, please." They got settled in the back of the cab as he drove off. Kurt eventually leaned his head on Blaine's shoulder and just closed his eyes. He just sat and thought about Elizabeth. He thought how much of his mother she would have been like. How much of Rachel she would have been like, which was probably likely that she would have _a lot_ of Rachel in her. He thought about what school she would have went to, what extra-curricular activities she would have liked. There was so much that he was excited to see and experience with Blaine and their daughter. But now, that was all gone.

Blaine felt happy that Kurt was getting better. He was so closed off like he was when he fisrt came home. Of course, he'd only been with Blaine most of that wouldn't see her smile again. He wouldn't get to tickle her

Kurt began to hear Blaine humming. He was humming the lullaby they sang to Lizzy to get her to go to sleep. He smiled and reached for Blaine's arm and crossed them to hold his hand. They stayed like that in the cab the entire way. They didn't move and Blaine kept humming to Kurt. It was when they arrived at the train station that he realized he had started to doze off.

He sat up and looked around outside the windows and saw that they were there. He re-positioned himself so that he could get ready to get out of the car. He quietly watched as Blaine paid the cab driver and get out to quickly get their three bags. It took only a second and he was at Kurt's door, ready to help him out of the car, before Kurt could open the door.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked reaching for his husband. Kurt simply nodded for that was all that he could do. Blaine helped Kurt out of the car slowly. For a moment, Kurt felt a strong wave of dizziness and nausea hit him like a hammer, but thankfully it slowly faded.

He stood on the sidewalk waiting for Blaine to hand him a bag. He stood waiting on Blaine to get back from the car and took a look around. Being back home felt kind of good. It took him back to some of the good memories when he was there. The good years at McKinley flashed through his head, and then so did Finn. He felt tear swell up in his eyes.

The thought of his brother and what happened to him made his heart ache. He could feel an actual ache in his chest. He didn't know if it was because he lost a brother or because he was still healing from the accident. Either way, he didn't feel so good and needed to sit down somewhere. But, before he could call out to Blaine he came up to Kurt with their bags.

"Hey, ready to go?" Kurt nodded again and grabbed a bag. Blaine took a quick second to examine Kurt. He didn't seem one hundred percent. He knew that something was off with him, and he knew what it was, Elizabeth. He himself felt off. Like they were missing something, and that was their daughter.

He decided that he would leave it be for now and lead the way through the train station. Once inside they made their way straight to the front doors to look for Burt. When they got there, Kurt seemed to be out of breath.

"Here let's sit down for a second." He led Kurt to a bench and sat him down. He set the bags down for a second and sat next to Kurt.

"Are you feeling ok? Do you need something to eat or drink?" Kurt simply smiled at Blaine. Even though he was suffering too, he still looked after Kurt more than himself.

"I'm fine, Blaine. I just, you've been taking care of me ever since the accident and I haven't helped you at all. You lost her too, but I don't think that you have really had a chance to grieve."

"Kurt, no. I've been dealing with Elizabeth's death the best way that I can. And that's helping you. You are a part of her and helping you feels like I'm helping her. You are my husband, Kurt, and being with you is helping me to grieve. Seeing you alive and well is what is keeps me going." By then the both of them had tears in their eyes and slowly cascading down their cheeks.

Blaine leaned in and kissed Kurt. It felt like lightning, fireworks, and electricity! Every time they kissed it felt as if it was their first. Blaine pulled back to see Kurt smiling.

"What?" Blaine asked a little amusement in his voice.

"I just...you always know the right thing to say, no matter what the situation. I love you, Blaine. So much." Kurt leaned in against Blaine as he wrapped an arm around Kurt. Blaine placed a kiss upon his head. For a moment they sat there, just like that and didn't move. They wanted to stay in this moment forever. They didn't want to go back to the real world where their daughter was gone forever.

However, they knew that they couldn't stay in the train station forever so Blaine, kissed Kurt on the head again and stood.

"Alright, I'm gonna go look and see if Burt is here yet, ok? Just stay right here." Blaine began picking up bags.

"I'm not a child you know." Kurt said with a half smile on his face. Blaine laughed.

"Sometimes, I can't tell the difference." Kurt's eyes went wide for a second before he started to laugh. He didn't care that he was supposed to be sad. He didn't care that laughing made his chest and head hurt. He watched as Blaine walked towards the doors and still laughing. And for a moment, he thought that maybe, just maybe, they would be alright.

He sat in thought for a few minutes until he spotted Blaine coming back inside with a older man in a flannel shirt and baseball cap walking next to him. He smiled at his dad as he came and took a seat beside him.

"You two catch up, I'll get the bags in the car." Blaine started to carry the bags outside. Burt patted Kurt on the back.

"Hey, kiddo. How ya' feelin'?" Kurt looked at his father, knowing that he was trying to get a sense of where he was at with his grieving. But, then again, he knew that his just wanted to know what he could do to help his son. He didn't want to bother his father with necessary worry. But, he had to give him something to get him off his back.

"Just feeling a little tired, dad. I'll get some rest tonight, I promise." Burt gave that look that he usually did when he knew that something was up with his kid, but he was too stubborn to tell him anything.

"How's the leg?" Kurt rubbed it with his hand.

"It hurt's from time to time, but not enough to bother me. Really dad, I'm ok." Before Burt could respond, Blaine came back.

"Alright, everything's packed up and ready to go." Kurt tried to stand but his leg started hurting and his knee almost buckled from underneath him. Burt was there to catch him.

"Easy there. Is it hurting that bad?" Kurt just shook his head and steadied himself.

"Just for a second. It's okay now."

"Alright, but I'm gonna help you to the car anyway okay?" When Kurt agreed to the help, it let Burt and Blaine know that there was most definitely some real pain in his leg.

They took Kurt to the car and they got settled inside. Once they were all buckled, Burt pulled off. Kurt was sitting up front, with his head leaning back against the headrest. His eyes were tightly closed and he had a rough grip on his leg. Burt glanced over and noticed Kurt rubbing his leg again. His worry began to peak up quite a bit.

"Kurt-" But before Burt could finish his sentence, Kurt cut in.

"I'm fine, dad." Burt wanted so badly to just take Kurt back home and get him to rest and take something for his leg, but he knew that Kurt would win. Going to his daughter's memorial service would definitely trump his father's worry for his health.

"Why don't you at least taking something for the pain."

"Dad, I...okay. I will. Blaine can you had me my-" Blaine had already found it and brought it up to the front, handing it out to Kurt. He looked back and smiled at him. Blaine knew that when Kurt hit his tolerance max, he would ask for the pain medicine.

"Thanks, honey." Kurt grabbed the bottle of water that was in the cup holder and took the medicine. He knew that it would take at least thirty minutes for it to take effect, whatever effect it did have.

It took about twenty-two minutes to get to McKinley from the train station. With each passing land marker that lead closer and closer to the school, Kurt's nerves grew. He didn't know why he was nervous, it was his daughter's memorial service.

But the more he thought about it, it was Rachel that he the most nervous to see. She lost her daughter too, and he was afraid that she would blame him. He was terrified of that. Rachel was his best friend, someone who helped out of a dark time in his past and he didn't want to lose her.

While in thought, he didn't them arrive until the pulled up and parked the car. He saw his dad and Blaine get out first. Blaine hurried to Kurt as he opened his door. He held the door open as Kurt got out, waiting for Kurt to tell him that needed help. Which he never did.

They got out of the car and walked slowly and towards the choir room. Blaine and Kurt saw flashbacks of some great memories in the halls. Their classmates decorating the halls for their Nationals win, Prom, the times when they backed each other up against bullies. It made their hearts melt with the past. They wanted to have those times again, have those feelings again, going to a competition, meeting their competitors, and most of all performing.

Thinking about those memories, Kurt wasn't sure that he wanted to perform again. Singing was a part of his life that reminded him of everyone and everything at McKinley, but also reminded him that his daughter was gone. Of' course, he knew that Blaine would say that she wouldn't want him to stop something that was a part of him just because he couldn't sing with her. But, he also knew that Blaine felt the same way.

Lost in their thoughts, they failed to see that they had arrived the choir room. The room that felt so much like home to them, a safe place, the room they met all their soulmates and friends, where they came together as a family. Kurt wanted to go in and he was about to when something stopped him in his tracks.

He stood still, not moving a muscle, and not saying a word. Blaine and Burt stood behind Kurt waiting for him to twist the door handle and go inside. Kurt just stood there, frozen.

"Kurt?" Blaine asked taking a step so that he could see his husband's face. It had a look of pure terror in it. It seemed as if he was seeing a ghost or something. He had never seen a look like this on his husbands face before and if he was honest with himself, it kind of terrified him, too.

Kurt still hadn't moved. He didn't respond to Blaine. All he could think about, was that his family was in there. Tina, Mercedes, Sam, everyone, even Rachel. Rachel was in there with their friends. The other part of him who lost a daughter too. The woman who he considered his best friend, the mother of his child, with whom he was to blame for dying, was standing on the other side of the door. There was no way he would be able to go in. There was no way he could face her!

"Kurt?" This time it was his dad. When he moved to the other side of Kurt to look at his face he saw tears in his eyes, and on his cheeks. He placed a hand on his son's shoulder to try and give some comfort. Burt looked into his son's eyes as he looked at his father, and suddenly, he knew. He knew what was going on. He knew why Kurt hadn't opened the door yet.

"You can't, can you?" He simply asked. Blaine looked at Kurt waiting for his response. Kurt just nodded his head with saying anything. But before either of the men could offer to take Kurt back to Burt's house, the door to the choir room opened to reveal Santana.

All three men looked at her in surprise. They were tempted to tell her not say anything and that they were going to just take Kurt home but some of the others had started walking to the door to say hello. Without warning Brittany came up to Kurt gave him a hug. At first he didn't know what to do so he just stood there, his arms awkwardly hanging by his sides while Brittany threw her arms around his neck and squeezed just a little.

After a few seconds, Santana pulled Brittany off of him and gave him a hug herself. Kurt still didn't make a move to walk inside. The others were huddled together at the door watching and waiting for Kurt to move or say something. Quickly, Burt and Blaine guided Kurt inside to take a seat and the others spread out, and went back to what they were doing before.

Kurt sat down and didn't say anything to anybody, he was still kind of in shock. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he would say to her, what she would say to him. He was scared. He looked up and looked around the room, looking for Rachel. She wasn't here. He thought that they were the last ones to arrive.

He was afraid to ask anyone where she was, he was scared to see her, to even hear her voice. She's...Rachel. She's his best friend. What could he say? Was there anything that he could say? Would still care about him? Would they still be friends? Be family? What was going to happen? Before could ask Blaine to get him out of there, Rachel and Jesse walked back into the room.

Kurt sat stock still. He didn't make a move, he didn't make a sound. He sat watching her like a hawk, afraid she might attack. He watched as she dried her eyes with a tissue. He watched as she walked forwards three steps before she looked up and met his eyes. Neither one moved, neither said anything for a few seconds. Then suddenly, Rachel hurriedly walked over to Kurt. Kurt stood quickly not really in control of his own body. Before he knew she was hugging him. She was hugging him and crying on his shoulder. He stood shocked, unsure what to do yet again with a girl hugging him.

Memories of their friendship flashed threw his eyes and suddenly, he was hit with the need to hug Rachel, so he did. He hugged her back and they both cried. They cried for their daughter, for each other, for the times they wouldn't have with their little girl.

In both of their minds, they swore to themselves that they would help one another if they needed it. Even though they had technically already made that promise, they needed to do it again, just for their comfort.

They let go of each other and wiped their tears. The looked around the room at all of their friends and family. They saw the others and just knew that they would be aright.


	5. Chapter 5

After Rachel and Kurt had calmed down they had started by having a little dinner. They all sat having different conversations, some about Elizabeth, some about Kurt and Blaine and Rachel, some about other things. Tears were shed, laughter was shared. They were connecting with each other again.

Mr. Schue stood at the front of the room and looked on at all the sad and gloomy faces around the room. He could feel the sadness, the loss and the grief in his own heart. He knew that this was going to be a very long road for them. But, he knew that everyone in this room, would be there every step of the way.

"Hello, everyone. Um, well this day is to celebrate the life of a beautiful little girl. She left us way too early, but I know that she is watching over her loved ones every minute of every day. So whoever would like to sing, just step up. Anyone who wants to talk, feel free. If you want to talk privately you can use my office. We have plenty of foods and drinks for everyone. A lot of them are Lizzy's favorite."

Blaine stood and walked to the center of the room. As Mr. Schue walked passed him to sit down, he gave Blaine a pat on the back and a quick hug. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Blaine. They were all quiet, waiting to hear what Blaine was going to say.

"I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who helped set this up for us, and for coming. It really means a lot, to all of us. Now, I'd like to sing a song for her, for our daughter. She was a bright little girl who may not have lived a lot of years, but" Blaine swallowed to keep from crying. "I know that she would have been such a smart, brave, beautiful young woman. And I miss her so much.

" _Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes_

 _And save these questions for another day_

 _I think I know what you've been asking me_

 _I think you know what I've been trying to say_

 _I promised I would never leave you_

 _Then you should always know_

 _Wherever you may go, no matter where you are_

 _I never will be far away"_

Blaine looked at Kurt who was already in tears, feel all sorts of emotion for his husband. He felt his pain, his loss. Blaine knew that Kurt understood and that one day, they will be fine.

" _Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep_

 _And still so many things I want to say_

 _Remember all the songs you sang for me_

 _When we went sailing on an emerald bay_

 _And like a boat out on the ocean_

 _I'm rocking you to sleep_

 _The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart_

 _You'll always be a part of me_

 _Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream_

 _And dream how wonderful your life will be_

 _Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby_

 _Then in your heart there will always be a part of me_

 _Someday we'll all be gone_

 _But lullabies go on and on_

 _They never die_

 _That's how you and I will be"_

Blaine ended the song with a few more tears sliding down his cheeks. All the emotions he had since the accident, since he was told about Elizabeth, since Kurt came home from the hospital, he let them go singing this song. He let it all out, let it all go. He was with his friends, with his family. Everyone went up and hugged Blaine, except Kurt. Once everyone sat down, Blaine looked at Kurt, who was still crying. He walked over and Kurt slowly and unsteadily stood up to meet him.

They embraced and started crying quietly together. The other's watched the intimate moment for only a second. They didn't want to seem as if they were staring, but they were all feeling different emotions for the loving couple.

Some of the others went to to take a break in the bathroom, some just went to walk, some of the boys starting eating more food. Kurt just sat cuddled up next to Blaine. He didn't want to move, he didn't want to talk. He just wanted to be near Blaine. He just wanted to sit there and listen to sound of his heart beating. He needed to hear Blaine's heart beating, it gave him comfort. It made him feel at home, made him feel safe.

Burt and Carole were there still, looking on as their beloved son, and son in law took comfort in each other in their mourning. They knew how they felt, they knew what they were going through. It was actually bringing back some memories about Finn. Carole still often thought about Kurt's first words when he woke up. She often felt proud, sad, and lucky to have Kurt as a son. She knew, by seeing them just now, that they would be fine. They were both strong young men who would not let anything take them past the breaking point.

Everyone returned to the choir room and Rachel then decided to stand and walk to the center of the room. Everyone else sat down and began to quiet down to listen. They were all anxious because they knew how...fragile Rachel can be. But this time, they couldn't blame her. She lost her daughter and her two best friends were sharing that grief.

"Hi everyone. Um, I didn't expect that I would be up here singing today. I didn't think I would be able to. I didn't think that I would be at my daughter's memorial service either but, I'm here. I'm here with my friends, my family. And having all of you here helps. I just want to say that, wherever she is, I know that she is watching over us. I know that she's smiling but also trying to help us not feel sad or lost, or alone. Even though she was only a few years old, she was selfless. She would give her toys to other kids in pre-school. She would share her lunches, she would give up her turn on a game to someone else. She was just so valiant and, she was kind and gentle, and she was my sweet girl, my sweet Lizzie. This is for her."

By the time Rachel had spoken the first few sentences she, along with quite a few of the others, especially Kurt and Blaine, were in tears. She took a step back to get ready for the song. She waited a moment while the band got their instruments ready and took a deep breath and calmed herself some, or at least however much she could calm herself.

 _I pray you'll be my eyes_

 _And watch her where she goes_

 _And help her to be wise_

 _Help me to let go_

 _Every mother's prayer_

 _Every child knows_

 _Lead her to a place_

 _Guide her with your grace_

 _To a place where she'll be safe_

Rachel looked at her friends and family in the crowd and knew that they understood what she was saying. She knew that Carol and Emma understood because they too were mothers. She just wanted to hold her little girl again so badly! She wanted to feel her little arms wrap around her neck and feel her warmth. She wanted to tell her that she loved her over and over and over again.

 _I pray she finds your light_

 _And holds it in her heart_

 _As darkness falls each night_

 _Remind her where you are_

 _Every mother's prayer_

 _Every child knows_

 _Need to find a place_

 _Guide her with your grace_

 _Give her faith so she'll be safe_

 _Lead her to a place_

 _Guide her with your grace_

 _To a place where she'll be safe_

 _When you're down and troubled,_

 _And you need some love and care,_

 _And nothing, nothing is going right_

 _Close your eyes and think of me,_

 _And soon I will be there_

 _To brighten up even your darkest night._

She thought about Lizzy while she sang. She thought about her bright smile. She thought about how her laugh could light up a room and when she did laugh, you couldn't resist laughing with her. She was the light of her life she was her everything, and she was taken away from her! Someone took her little sweet girl away from her! _He_ took her away from her! _He_ did! She just didn't what was going to happen between her and Kurt now.

 _You just call out my name_

 _And you know wherever I am_

 _I'll come running to see you again_

 _Winter, spring, summer or fall_

 _All you have to do is call_

 _And I'll be there_

Rachel finished the song and everyone began to clap for her, for Lizzy, too. But the emotions she had inside had not gone away. She was feeling so angry now! She hugged everyone back and when Kurt began to walk towards her something in her just snapped!

"No! Don't...just don't!" She spat out at Kurt. The venom in her voice made him freeze dead in his tracks. He didn't move a muscle. He was somewhat frightened to.

"You, you're the reason she's gone! You were late bringing her over! It's all your fault that she's dead!" Rachel then ran out of the room with fresh tears running down her cheeks. Everyone just stared at the door she left, and at Kurt.


	6. Chapter 6

..." _You're the reason_ _she's gone!"_...

... _It's your fault she's dead!"..._

Rachel's words echoed in his mind. His body was frozen to the spot but, his mind just kept going. It kept repeating the words over and over. He thought that, they were at least ok. They _both_ lost Lizzy, Blaine too, not only Rachel. But, maybe she was right. Maybe it _was_ his fault. He was the reason that they were late going to Rachel's. He had last additions to his fabric line and the deadline was the next morning. So he stayed to help get them ready and fill out all of the paperwork.

If he had just waited until he was on the way back from Rachel's, he would've missed that truck. He would've caught the green light, Lizzy would still be alive. Their daughter would be alive. But she wasn't.

They were at her memorial service. They were there to celebrate her too short life. They were in pain, they were feeling broken, they were grieving, they were losing hope, because of him.

Many of the others had followed Rachel out or had left the awkward scene. Jesse was right behind her, ready to talk to her. He knew that she didn't really blame Kurt. He also knew that she would deeply regret that moment of accusation, within minutes.

Puck wouldn't leave. No way was he going to leave his boy Kurt like that. He had made a silent promise to Finn, a few years ago, that he would keep an eye on his little brother. During the time with Karofsky bullying Kurt, Puck had grown to be very protective of him. Even when he didn't show it, he was looking out for him. Of course he still picked on him and made fun of him sometimes, that was just Puck! But this, this was something that he would be way over his head in. But, he would be there nonetheless.

Sam, Mercedes and Mr. Schue and Burt stayed in the room with Blaine. They too were shocked by Rachel's outburst. She had present with no signs of feeling any of those emotions towards Kurt the entire night, even when they first hear about the accident.

Carol had left to console Rachel, and to see what was really going on. She had to know that it wasn't Kurt's fault. No one else blamed Kurt, only Rachel...and Kurt himself. There had to be something that she could do. Suddenly on her way to the bathroom where Rachel went, she stopped in the hallway. She had a very bad feeling wash over her. It made her feel cold and dead inside. She turned around on the spot and went back to the choir room.

So lost in thought, Kurt didn't hear Blaine, Mr. Schue, nor his dad calling his name. He came out of his thoughts, his mind still clouded with the guilt of Rachel's accusation, or rather speech of truth. He looked at each of the three men, a steady stream of tears in his eyes, falling down his cheek, impacting with his shirt, making it darker, but with a face that was oh too blank. He was expressionless. He didn't notice a fearful Carole walk back into the room.

For a moment no one moved or spoke again, until someone unexpectedly did. Kurt slowly, without acknowledging anyone, walked towards the door. He didn't speed up, he didn't slow down. He didn't look at anyone as he walked past them. He didn't even speak, no sound came from him.

It was when Kurt got close to the door that Blaine noticed the twitching of Kurt's hand. He figured it was just from him being upset. He had a right to be. He was basically just blamed for murdering his own daughter. But, what struck him sharply with such agonizing fear, was Kurt's arm, then another limb, then his entire body start to convulse.

Before Kurt could hit the ground Blaine caught him, sliding in under his back. Burt, Puck, Sam and Mr. Schue rushed to his side, offering Blaine help. Blaine tried not to hold on too tight. His dad being a doctor, he knew some things about medical stuff. He kept Kurt from lying fully on his back, so as to not let Kurt choke on saliva, but enough so that he didn't bite down on his own tongue.

"KURT!"

"SON!"

"Kurt, come on. Somebody call 911! HURRY!" Blaine screamed in desperation. He had already lost his daughter, and he was finally starting to get his husband, his Kurt, back. He couldn't do it again, He couldn't do _this_ again.

As Kurt continued to convulse and Carol talked with paramedics, some of the girls came back into the room. They had heard a scream and were coming to see what was happening. They didn't expect to see the scene layed out before tthem. Blaine, on the floor, holding a seizing Kurt, with his father, teacher, and classmates hovering around him.

"Oh My God, Kurt!" Mercedes rushed to her close friend. She had panic in her features and fear and worry in her eyes. Tina, Santana and Brittany were with her, standing behind her watching the scene unfold. Santana held Brittany as she silently cried small tears.

Jesse stayed with Rachel who was in the nearest classroom to the exit door. She was curled into his chest hiding her face as she cried. She knew that he wasn't at fault and she didn't think of him as in fault but, her mind just kept saying that he was to blame. She didn't understand why.

She heard the scream but thought it was just Kurt running out of there too. But, when some of the girls left to see what was going on, she knew that wasn't it. She lifted her head and look around the room. It was her, Jesse, and Quinn, alone in the classroom. Suddenly they heard sirens. At first they thought it was just a test or something but then they got louder. It made the hairs on their necks stand up.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked, sniffling. Quinn looked to the doorway and looked back with confusion on her face.

"I don't know." After that they decided to go out and see what was going on.

As they walked out of the room and looked down the hallway they saw someone being wheeled out on a gurney and a group of people that she recognized crowded around it and two men dressed in red, white and blue. They hurriedly walked over to the others, Jesse holding onto Rachel, Quinn striding in front of them.

Once they got close enough, they recognized who was on the gurney. Immediately Rachel felt her heart drop to her stomach. She began to feel guilty for blaming Kurt if being guilty of something that was slowly breaking him.

"Oh, God." Was all she whizpered into Jesse's chest. He and Quinn looked on as they loaded Kurt into the ambulance, Blaine climb inside, and the ambulance driving away...with the sirens on.

Rachel looked at Jesse and let go of him. She walked up past the others to Burt and Carol. She looked at her best friends parents' faces. She opened her mouth to say something but she was cut off by Burt. He held his hand up and just closed his eyes.

Rachel thought that he was so furious with her. That he was going to keep her from seeing Kurt at the hospital. But, what he did next, she expected to surprise her, but didn't. Burt reached out and they embraced in a hug as a father and daughter would. She took a moment to soak in the feeling she was having of regret and relief that Kurt's father wasn't judging her for her actions.

He couldn't judge her! She lost a child! She almost lost her best friend. She was going through a lot of different emotions and thoughts and not really in a straight state of mind. Anyone's mind would be clouded or in a haze of grief. He knew the feeling. Finn may not have been his biological son but he sure did become just that. He grieved so much for Finn. It hurt worse when he would think about Kurt losing his brother. It killed him. He just knew that, right now, he might just lose another son. And this time, it would be Kurt.

Everyone couldn't bring themselves to stay away from Hummel-Anderson and Berry family. They decided that they could clean up tomorrow or something. They each gathered their stuff and left for the hospital, Burt, Carol, Rachel, and Jesse the first to leave. They hoped, and they prayed that they wouldn't have to have another memorial service anytime soon.

It was quiet in the hospital waiting room at Lima Memorial. The Glee alumni sat in the waiting room, grouped together in comfort. Puck and Sam sat with Blaine, Burt and Carol. They sort of became part of the family over the years. They were always there when the Hummel-Anderson families needed them.

Mercedes, Tina and Quinn were sat together near the the desk. Their eyes were swollen and wet from crying, Mercedes' eyes even more so. She's been one of Kurt's best friends since Glee began. She called him at least once a day. They were far apart, working on their own careers, but they always kept in touch.

Lately though, since the accident, he's been so quiet, secluded. She didn't know what she could do to help him feel better. And now, now he was back in the hospital. This time, they didn't know why. Which was a lot scarier than when they knew he was in an accident.

Rachel and Jesse sat farthest away from everyone. They had arrived last, so no one saw then come in and sit down. She didn't want them to see her come in. She knew that she messed up, and she felt so terribly awful about it. She was just so angry and frustrated, her mind needed somewhere to place the blame because the real person to blame, also died in the accident.

She didn't know if Kurt would ever forgive her. She didn't know if he would ever even speak to her again. But, what she knew for sure, was that she wasn't going to stop until she fixed the rift between them. She only hopes that she gets the chance.

Burt sat holding his wife's hand tightly, both saying small prayers in their heads. They understood the others feelings, they understood what was going through each others heads. They knew the best way to comfort each other was to just be there. They both thought that their family had experienced enough loss. Burt didn't know how his future would turn out without his son.

To say Blaine was scared was a huge understatement. He felt as if he could snap at any moment. His daughter was gone, his husband just got out of the hospital from the same accident and now he was back in the hospital for some unknown reason. He was absolutely petrified.

It was Kurt who was on that floor. He was on that floor, his body betraying him _. His_ Kurt, the one who helped him to have courage, to have strength, and to believe in love. He felt that if he had never met Kurt, he would be a completely different person leading a completely different life. With all the events from the last month or so, he felt as if his life had finally hit rock bottom. He felt lost, alone and hopeless, and doubtful that things would get better. Kurt would say that they would. That he just needed to keep going, to keep trying. He believed that your life was what you made it. However sad you let it be, it will be just that. It was you and you alone who make it better than it already is. But, he's not the room waiting in the hospital room.

Out of nowhere, Blaine heard someone call out Kurt's name. He stood quickly and looked for the source. He spotted a doctor and walked towards her, Kurt's parents following closely behind. The others behind them scattered around the room looking on with hope of good news.

"Are you Mr. Hummel Anderson's husband?" She asked. Thankfully Blaine and the others heard no tone of disgust towards the notion of the gay men being married. Burt inwardly sighed. He was so afraid that they would get a homophobic doctor. It made him physically and emotionally relax a little when the doctor acted so normal around them.

"Yes, I'm Blaine. How is he?" Blaine stood anxiously in front of the doctor, awaiting good news, and expecting bad. He wrung his hands together nervously.

"My name is Doctor Kim." The doctor that spoke was tall and thin, and her cleanly shaved head shined in the lights above her. Her dark skin made her lab coat seem as if it glowed. Her emerald green eyes showed genuine concern and worry for the poor souls that were related to her patient. "You're husband came in with signs of a seizure. We have him stabilized at the moment. We need to run some tests to determine the cause. I understand that he was previously in the hospital this year?"

"Yes. He was in a car accident. He suffered some minor injures, but he had severe head trauma. He was in a coma for two weeks. The doctor said the scans that he took before Kurt was released were clear." Blaine stated. He didn't understand. Why was she asking all these questions about the accident? All his scans were clear before he came home! Blaine could feel his frustration rising. He took a deep breath to calm himself, knowing that getting frustrated wasn't going to help get Kurt home.

"I understand that. And that's good. But, we just need to check again in case something was missed. There are any number of things that could be missed in any type scan. It could have even developed over time while he was home. We want to be sure this isn't one of those cases. Has he had any falls or hit his head on anything recently?" The doctor questioned. They could tell by her voice that something definitely wasn't right with Kurt. She wouldn't be telling them these things if it wasn't something that they, or she, needed to worry about.

"He hasn't hit his head or fell down or anything." Blaine said wrapping his arms around his chest with worry and discomfort. The doctor went to write something down in her notes. Blaine searched his head to see if he could remember anything of the like happening in the past few weeks that Kurt's been home. Then it hit him.

"Doctor, there may be something. He didn't fall or anything but, he's been dizzy and losing his balance. On our way here from our home in New York, he got sick a few times. He just said that it was nerves, or felt like a cold. I told him that he needed to go to the doctor but, he couldn't wait until we got back." Blaine explained. Burt looked at Blaine with a hard expression. Yes, he was upset with Blaine for not telling him this, but Kurt could have told him too. With everything that was going on, it was hard to stay mad at Blaine for more than a few seconds.

"May I ask what kept him from going to the doctor about these symptoms?" The room went suddenly quiet. They could feel the tension and sorrow in the air. The doctor looked around and saw the response. She made a mental note that everyone here, were here to see Kurt, and that they cared very deeply about him.

"Um, we were...we were at a Memorial Service." Blaine said with a shaky voice. At that moment he wanted nothing more than to be home with Kurt cuddled into his side, sitting on the couch, watching Elizabeth playing with her toys in the living room. It brought a flood of tears to his eyes.

"I'm so sorry. Whose Memorial Service was it?" The doctor asked calmly and sympathetically. She understood that she was pushing it. Their emotions were already extremely elevated.

"I'm not trying to sound harsh, but why do you need to know this?" Carol asked the doctor, stepping up to Blaine and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry if I'm imposing, but these questions can help, even the slightest. It can help us to help Kurt get better. Even the smallest thing could help. And it would give a better understanding of his state of mind. It will help us treat him." They thought about what she said for a moment. They knew that she was right. If they said the wrong thing it could set Kurt off, or make him put up a barrier again. Blaine decided after a moments thought.

"Our daughter was killed in the same car accident that put Kurt in the hospital." He said it so calmly, and in one breath, it kind of scared Burt. He had never heard Blaine's voice sound like that before. Not even when he first heard about the accident.

The doctor bowed in her head in sympathy and looked at Blaine directly, with an apologetic look on her face. She knew that whatever she said to him wouldn't really make him feel better. But, it was at least worth a try. Maybe it could spark something that _would_ help him to feel better, maybe even Kurt. She wasn't one to not say anything after someone openly admits something so heartbreaking to her.

"I am... so deeply sorry, for your loss. I know that my words can't help, but...I _do_ understand. My husband and I lost our son to cancer about two years ago. I know that you feel empty. That, there's not really anything in this world that can fill that hole that was put in your heart. It can feel like the light of your life has been ripped from underneath you. I will be honest with you, it's not easy. It takes time for you to heal. The pain won't go away but it will get easier and easier to live with."

Blaine never even got to grips with those things that the doctor said. Yet, they were all true. He realized that, in the wake of taking care of Kurt and trying to get everything with the bills, that they now had to pay, were taken care of, that he hadn't truly realized his feelings about what was happening to him; to _them_. Instantly he felt a connection with that doctor. For some reason, she had actually helped him to feel better. He knew now how he was feeling. He knew now what all the internal screaming meant. In that moment he just wanted to talk to Kurt. He wanted Kurt, he _needed_ Kurt.

"Thank you. Can I see Kurt?" He took a deep breath expecting her to say no. But, what she said next surprised him.

"You know what, we're actually not supposed to let family members go see their relatives while during testing, but I think I can pull a few strings to get you in there. Just hold on for one second." She said motioning with her hands for him to stay where he was and walked over to the nurses station.

Burt, Carol, Puck, Sam, and Mercedes all turned to look at Blaine and he turned around to face them. For a moment they didn't say a word, knowing that they couldn't really say anything at this point. The doctor had pretty much said it all. Each of the glee alumni gave Blaine a tight squeeze of affection and told him they would come back tomorrow and to call if he needed anything. They wanted to give Blaine some time alone with his husband and to give him some space.

Burt and Carol stood next to Blaine, one on each side of him. They looked at each other for a moment as Blaine said goodbye to the others. They knew that, as parents who have lost a son, they still couldn't really help. The pain that one feels is so unimaginable when they lose a child. People can say they sympathize or even empathize with you but they will never know how you really feel. Everyone is different. Everyone's grieving process is different, and that can call for different emotions at different points in time. Burt and Carol did the only thing that they could do, offer support and love.

"Blaine, sweety, do you want us to stay here?" Carol asked rubbing his shoulder in motherly affection. Blaine looked up at Carol with watery eyes and just looked at her for a moment; _really_ looked at her. She also had watery eyes and worry wrinkles around them. She looked like...a mother.

Blaine simply looked at Carol, and hugged her. He hugged her tightly not wanting her to go anywhere. Carol was a little shocked at first. Blaine, like Kurt, never really used physical contact with anyone, not usually. She slowly put her arms around him and returned the comforting gesture. She looked at Burt with a tear sliding down her cheek. They both knew that they had their answer. They were not going anywhere.


	7. Chapter 7

_So sorry that this chapter took so long. Whenever I get an idea for another story in my head I have to write it down so I don't lose the streak. Thank you so much being patient with me. And thank you for reading and those who have already left a review! Please leave a review. The reviews that you leave help me to better my stories. You guys are so awesome and amazing! I want to let everyone who reads this know that I have begun to take story requests. Just pm/message me and I will do my best!_

Blaine had come back from seeing Kurt in testing looking so exhausted. It was hard to see him so vulnerable. He was asleep the entire time but, he just knew that Kurt would know if he was there or not. How could he not be?

He went back to the waiting room and was so glad to see Burt and Carol still there. He knew that Burt would stay anyway because it was his son. But knowing that they also stayed for him, meant a lot.

"How is he?" Burt asked standing from where he sat.

"Sleeping. He stayed asleep the entire time, but I couldn't leave him alone." Blaine answered.

"Do you know what room he's gonna be in?"

"No not yet." Both men's faces fell. They had hoped that he would wake up soon but, the doctor was still waiting on the results of the MRI. They wouldn't know anything until they came back. They were worried about what the results would say.

"Don't worry. Kurt is strong. He'll get throug this, I know he will." Burt said trying his best to reassure his son in law. But he knew that it may not be possible. Whatever happened next, was up to the scans.

A few long, and worrisome hours later, Kurt finally came back from testing. A nurse had taken Burt, Carole, and Blaine to Kurt's room before he came back. They wanted to go ahead and get the room setup for him. They all knew that he never liked hospitals. Making his room feel like home would automatically make him feel better. At least, it had to.

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand once they got him settled. He sat in his chair, next to Kurt's bed, studying his face. He almost looked peaceful, if it wasn't for the tube going down his throat. But, he also knew that the tube was helping to keep the man he loved, alive.

The nurse that brought Kurt in was the same who took him back to testing. He had mid length hair, which was to his ears, kind of scruffy. It was dark so it popped out with his light nurse's uniform. Before the nurse left, he turned around to talk to Blaine.

"It should take only a few hours for results to come back. As soon as the Doctor reviews them, she'll be in to speak with you." He stayed for a few more seconds before turning and leaving. He wanted to make sure that they didn't want to ask him any questions.

The nurse left the room, but the two men remained quiet. They stayed the way the were for a few minutes. Burt decided to go sit on the other side of his son, opposite Blaine. Carol followed and sat next to her husband. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, and he grabbed her hand.

They all stayed just like that for hours. None of them could leave. They were glad that the hospital room had a bathroom, they could stay there near Kurt.

It was very hard to look at Kurt. He was always so strong. To see him like this, so vulnerable and helpless, it broke their hearts. They were already grieving for Lizzy, now they were just barely keeping it together. They just wished that the doctor would hurry.

Eventually Blaine fell asleep in his chair, Still holding Kurt's hand. He was dreaming of being outside at the park with Kurt. They loved going to the park together, especially Kurt. Back in high school, Kurt dreamed of going to the park with his husband and future child. But, he didn't think that he would have that. It made him so happy.

The next morning, Carol tapped him on the shoulder. It took a moment or two to get him to wake up. He, apparently, was having a good dream, and she hated to take him away from that.

"Sweety, wake-up." slowly his eyes opened to reveal Carol and Burt looking up at him.

"Sorry." He was quiet a moment as he sat up in his chair. He looked at Kurt, who was sleeping still and showed no signs of getting better.

"Honey, there is absolutely nothing for you to be sorry for." She reassured him. She hated that he always apologized, even when it wasn't his fault.

"Why don't run down to the house, get a change of clothes, freshen up. I'm sure you'll feel a little bit better. I'm running to get us something to eat."

"I..." Blaine froze. He didn't know what to say to her. She was such a great person, and an even better mother figure. Hell, she was like Kurt's mother, not replacing his biological mother of course, but, a mother nonetheless. He had a battle going on in his head because he couldn't say no to Carol and he also couldn't leave Kurt alone, even though he knew that he would never be alone.

"I could just bring something from the house for you. I think I know what would match, Kurt has taught me so much about style." That made both of them smile. It felt so nice and warm to smile. It was the first smile either of them had made in a long time.

Blaine nodded at Carol, so very grateful to have her there with him. His mother was three countries away at the moment. He had called her and she said she'd take the next flight out to the States. His dad still didn't talk him. He and his mother said that he had an emergency at work the day of his and Kurt's wedding but, Blaine knew the real reason. He knew his dad loved him, and he did, but he just didn't want anything to do with that part of him. He never met Elizabeth, never asked about her when he talked to Blaine on the phone. He loved his dad, truly, but he wished that his dad could be more understanding... like Burt.

Burt was such a great father for Kurt! He knew all along that his son was gay and he didn't change the way he raised his son. He didn't look at him differently, he loved him like any parent should do. He accepted him, and would protect him from anything that jeopardized his happiness. And it meant even more to him that Burt had welcomed him into the family and would do the same for himself.

"Blaine? Is there something specific you want to eat?" Carol's voice brought him out of his thoughts. He looked up at her, she was standing over him, her hand on his shoulder comfortingly.

"Ah, no just whatever you get is fine." She patted his shoulder softly and smiled as she walked out of the room. Blaine shifted in his seat and decided to look around the room for a moment. The first thing that he noticed was that there was no change with Kurt. And if the doctor had been by, Carol and Burt would made sure that he was awake. He then saw that Burt was awake, he was standing at the window with his arms crossed, the usual stance that he held when he was anxious or just worried.

Blaine stood and slowly walked over to Burt and faced the window too, looking outside. The sun had completely set already and the night sky was pitch black, save for the hospital parking lot lights. Neither said a word, nor did they move from where they stood. They knew what the other was feeling. As long as they had known each other, and with how close they were, they weren't surprised.

A knock on the door to Kurt's room made both men jump a little, and turn around quickly. Standing in the doorway, with a clipboard in hand and a sympathetic expression. Their first thought was that the doctor was going to tell them some very bad news. They feared the worst for Kurt for a split second. But, they felt a spark of hope when the doctor gave them just the slightest of smiles. It wasn't much, but it meant that at least Kurt wasn't in any danger.

"Mr. Anderson-Hummel?"

"Yes? Do you have the results yet?" Blaine asked taking a step forward.

"I do. Let's sit down over here." Dr. Kim gestured towards the table in the corner. For a second they were reluctant, being asked to sit down was another sign of bad news. Nevertheless, they sat down anyway, needing to know what the doctor had to say.

"The scans showed that Kurt has a bleed in his brain. The most likely cause was the accident." Blaine and Burt were immediately confused. The doctors had told them that he was just fine when they took him home.

"A bleed in his...but, the doctor at the hospital in New York told us that he was fine. They didn't find anything in his scans there. How could they have missed something like this?" Burt was beginning to get angry. Something so life threatening was missed in a scan of Kurt's brain. These kinds of bleeds can be fatal, a lot. Burt knew this because the doctor from New York talked to him about it. And plus, it kinda sounds like it's common sense.

"With these bleeds, they can start out so small, that our scans; even the best, won't be able to detect it. People in accidents have been know to live for years with a bleed in their brain. If it's small enough and doesn't cause any damage or symptoms, it goes undiagnosed." the doctor explained.

"If he was already bleeding then why did he all of sudden collapse?" Blaine asked with tears in his eyes. He knew that there was something else that the doctor needed to tell them, he could feel it, and he knew that it wasn't good.

"The bleed increasing caused Kurt to have a seizure, and for the area of the brain affected by the bleed to swell. That means that the bleed has started to affect his brain. Right now, Kurt is in a coma. We are currently giving him medication to try and reduce the swelling, but we will have to repair the bleed."

"You mean brain surgery?" Blaine's voice sounded so small, as if a child was speaking. His husband was currently in a coma and needed brain surgery from an accident that happened a month ago. He felt as if the world was being ripped from beneath his very feet. Burt placed his hand on Blaine's shoulder and patted it, letting Blaine know that he was there for him.

"So, so what do we do now?"

"Well, that's actually the hard part. I need you to decide whether we do the surgery and repair the bleed first, or we get the swelling to down before the surgery."

"Why do I need to make that decision? You're the doctor, do whatever you think is best! The best for him to live!"

"We have to have the consent from the next of kin, or medical proxy, and that's you. If we do the surgery first, the swelling could get worse and cause him to lose all brain function. If we wait and try to get the swelling down first, he could either bleed to death, or cause a blood clot that could either stay in his brain and cause him to lose brain function as well, or it could travel to his heart and stop it completely." Blaine looked at her dumbfounded. Everything she just said was basically telling him that either way, there was chance that Kurt could be brain dead, or worse... He didn't know what to do. He looked over at Burt who had tears in his eyes. Blaine knew that he was thinking the same thing.

"I know that this decision will be the most important, and most risky decision of your life. But it _is_ a decision that you have to make." Blaine's breathing had gotten heavier and Burt was still holding onto Blaine's shoulder, now trying comfort both of them at the same time.

"What.." Blaine swallowed and took a deep breath.

"What would you suggest we do?"

"Honestly I believe that there is more risk if we don't do the surgery first. The bleed in his brain can cause the blood clots and kill him." Burt and Blaine both knew that they needed to make a decision and they needed one now. Kurt couldn't wait, he was bleeding for crying out loud, in his _brain_!

"Blaine, you gotta make the decision bud. He's your husband." Burt said removing his hand and standing up, moving towards the window. Blaine looked at Burt with a shock on his face and walked over to him.

"Burt, you're his father! I have to take whatever your opinion is into consideration!"

"You're his husband. Whatever decision you make, I know will be the right one."

"You would agree with the doctor. They know more about this than we do, they know what could happen either way. But, I can't make this decision on my own."

"Blaine, you just did." Burt grabbed his shoulder again to try and reassure him that he had the courage to make the decision. They all knew that the decision he made could potentially change all of their lives forever. Blaine, never in his life, imagined that he would ever have to make such a decision. It was scaring him out of his mind. He knew what he should do but, he was afraid that if he chose it, then he would lose Kurt forever and he would have to live without his husband _and_ his daughter. He took a few more minutes thinking of what he should do. He knew what he decided.

"I told the doctor to do the surgery." Blaine explained to the glee alumni in the waiting room.

"What? Blaine, it's very dangerous! They're going to cut open his head and perform surgery on Kurt's brain!" Rachel said hysterical. She had stood and walked up closer to Blaine, looking at him as if he was a child who just did something incredibly bad.

"Blaine, she's right. He could bleed to death in surgery." Mercedes said, defending Rachel.

"Hey! The doctor said that this was the best option. He could bleed more and more while we waited for the swelling to go down. And it may not have gone down on it's own anyway. She said that his blood could clot if they didn't . That blood clot could leave him brain dead, or go to his heart and..." Blaine trailed off not being able to finish that sentence. He was so angry at them for giving him such a hard time on this decision. He knew that they were worried about Kurt too, but he was Kurt's husband. He was way worse off than any of them were.

"Look guys," Blaine sat down in the chair that faced everyone. They, who were standing, decided to sit down as well. "I am, scared out of mind right now. Kurt, my husband, is in a coma. And either way they try to help him are some of the most scariest risks that I've ever had to face in my entire life. I've lost my daughter, and now, I'm facing the possibility that I'm losing my husband. Out of the two options I had, I made the best decision I could. I decided on the surgery, not because it was less dangerous, it may be more dangerous, but because there are less risks involved. We only have to worry about one or two things, not four or five. And I know, in my heart, and my gut, that Kurt would have chosen the same thing for me if our positions were reversed. So, right now, I just really need my friend's support right now. I just don't have that much strength left and I feel like every step I take is one that leads me more and more towards the edge, and I know that when I get to that edge I won't be able to make it back. So, please, help me. Just...help me." Blaine had so much tears pool up in his eyes that he couldn't see the faces of his friends. Tears led tracks all the way down his face falling into his lap.

The first person to move was Tina. She didn't say anything, she simply walked over to Blaine, sat down next to him, and hugged him. It was a warm, cozy hug that just made his barrier melt away. He wanted to still be strong for Kurt's parents, for his friends but the news he heard a few hours ago just put a crack in his wall and he couldn't contain the tsunami of emotions that pooled out. Now he was opening up completely to his friends. He knew that he couldn't get through this alone and he knew that he was going to need everyone's help to stay strong for Kurt when he woke up. He was just praying, still, that he had made the right decision.

 _So this chapter does tap into my feelings on the show a little bit. I myself am gay. My 'coming out' inspiration was this show and especially Kurt and Blaine. Blaine helped Kurt to find the courage to stand up to Karofsky and to just be himself despite everyone who was homophobic or judgmental. That helped me to find my own courage to come out to my family and to just be myself, to stop pretending to be somebody else. Well sorry to be so emotional, LOL! Next chapter to come out soon! :)_


	8. Chapter 8

Catatonic. That's the word that the doctors used to describe Kurt's condition. He was aware, he could hear people talk, he could breathe on his own. Maybe he's dreaming, maybe he's able to see all around him and just can't say anything.

All Blaine knew, was that it must be hell for him. He was still grieving for their daughter and now he was stuck in his head, unable to talk to the people that he loves. The doctors told them that they didn't know when he would come out of it. He had to heal, his mind had to take it's time in figuring out what was going on. After all, he did have brain surgery.

But, that was a week and a half ago. Which meant that Elizabeth's actual funeral was coming up. It was less than a week away. He knew that he should be more worried about Kurt right now, but what if he wasn't able to attend their daughter's funeral? Then again that would be considered worrying for him anyway because he didn't know how Kurt would take it when he realized that he missed his own daughter's funeral. He knew that it would destroy him, but he didn't know what he would do.

Some of the Glee alumni had to go back to their lives, not being able to put it on hold any longer. Rachel and Jesse were their own bosses so they could take as much time as they needed. Burt took medical leave, his fellow chairmen understanding whole heartedly. Puck was able to convince his superior that he needed to be on leave due to his ' _brother'_ being in the hospital. They surprisingly said no. Puck really wanted to keep his promise to Finn that he would look out for his little brother.

Blaine couldn't be more grateful for their friends and for Burt and Carole. He knew that he wouldn't be able to stay sane waiting alone for Kurt to wake up. The doctors said that talking and interacting with Kurt would likely help him come out of his catatonic state. So they would talk to him. They sang him some songs, when the others could come by on the weekends. They watched a movie with him, anything they could think of.

It was only a few days ago that they were able to get Kurt stable enough to go under surgery. They had to repair the bleed and fast. The surgery took just over ten hours. Blaine and their parents went out of their minds. They couldn't get an update from the nurses.

The update they did get, was that there was something on his cans that the doctor's were going to take a look at. They went over his scans just before the surgery. They wanted to see what it was and to get a sample if they needed to test it.

"What could it be?" Burt asked.

"Honestly, we don't know. We don't want to speculate with there being so many options."

It frustrated Blaine the most. He was so anxious, and nervous. He hoped and prayed that he made the right decision, and that whatever it was inside Kurt's wasn't going to take the only light he had left. After the surgery Blaine wouldn't leave the hospital. He couldn't.

Some of the glee alumni were able to make it on the week ends. They sang some songs to him. Sometimes they just talked. They got him flowers, and cards and teddy bears etc., the list goes on.

Rachel however, was too terrified to go inside. She would stay outside the room, sitting in the chair next to the door. They tried getting her to go in several times, but she couldn't. She felt terrible about what she said. She didn't meant it, she was just so upset and angry! Kurt isn't to blame. And yet, she had convicted him. She would sometimes think that Kurt might not want to wake up. He lost his daughter, his best friend, and the mother of that daughter, was accusing him of being irresponsible. That was one thing that she feared greatly. She didn't want him to think that she really meant what she said. She wanted to tell him, she _needed_ to tell him, that it wasn't true. She nodded her head and decided that she would tell him. After all, the doctors said that he would be able to hear things that you say to him.

Rachel walked up to the door and stopped for a moment. This was it. She slowly and quietly opened the door. Blaine was the only one in there. He sat in his usual chair, holding Kurt's hand. He was just looking at him. Rachel could see the tears in his eyes. Clearly he had been talking to Kurt. She wanted to help, but didn't know how. She just decided to stand there awkwardly for a moment. She was about to move to the opposite chair when she heard Blaine's voice.

"Rachel?" His voice was soft, gentle, surprised, and a bit hopeful. He looked up at her with his big brown, hazel eyes, and she walked over to him slowly. She wasn't really sure what to say. She knew what she wanted to say to Kurt, but she didn't know what she wanted to say to Blaine. She opened her mouth to say something but instead she started crying. She tried to hold back the tears, but when Blaine came up to her and rubbed her arms in comfort, she lost it. All the guilt, the sadness, and stress just came out. She hugged her other best friend and just cried.

Blaine held Rachel as tight as he could without hurting her. He knew that she didn't mean what she said back at the school. He also knew that even though they would tell her that she wasn't to blame for Kurt's return to the hospital, she would still feel guilty about it for weeks. For now he would just let her cry into his shoulder. Let her get it all out of her system. He knew that she wanted to talk to Kurt. He knew that she needed to tell him that she didn't believe that he was to Blame for Elizabeth. He knew, because that's what he would do.

"Do you want a cup of coffee?" He whispered. Rachel simply nodded, afraid of her voice at the moment. He rubbed her arm smoothly, and stepped out of the room. He shut the door behind him and leaned back against it. He took a deep breath to calm himself before his own flood of tears made their path down his face. He left down the hall to get some coffee.

Rachel stayed where she stood for a few minutes. She was slightly afraid to move, worried it might wake Kurt, if it could wake him up. She finally decided to take a seat where Blaine had been sitting. She folded her coat into her lap and played with the waist belt. She looked down at her hands, also playing with her fingernails. She didn't know why she was nervous. It was Kurt! Her best friend since high school. She shouldn't be nervous. But she was. She felt she didn't know how to talk to him, or to simply be near him. She thought about what she wanted to say exactly.

The moment she thought about how she would say what she wanted to say she blanked out. She couldn't think of what she wanted to say. She kept playing with her fingernails for a few minutes. She hadn't said anything when Blaine got back with the coffee. Only she didn't know that he was back because he was standing outside looking into the room through the window. He knew that she needed time alone with him. His phone started to buzz in his pocket so he stepped aside and went to the end of the hallway to answer it.

Rachel played with her fingernails, every so often looking at Kurt's face. He just looked like he was simply sleeping. He looked peaceful, calm. She hadn't seen him like that in a very long time. Likely more time to come for him with that expression. The doctor said she didn't know when he would wake up. That they had done all they could on their end and that it was up to Kurt now. Thinking about their future she remembered what she was going to say.

"Kurt." She started.

"I wanted to...I'm here. I wanted to tell you that..." Her voice kept freezing on her. It started to break every time she tried to say those words. She just felt them so strongly that the words couldn't express the depth of the emotion that she was feeling.

"Kurt, I'm sorry." And she began to cry. She cried for her best friend. She cried for Blaine, she cried for their daughter. She cried for the times they had with her, she cried for the times that they wouldn't have with her.

"I don't blame you Kurt. It's not...It's not your fault! I didn't mean...what I said. I just..." She looked down into her lap and swallowed the cry she felt urging on.

"I just want you to know that I will be here for you and for Blaine no matter what and...I miss you." Her tears started to fall again. After that she couldn't speak anymore. She simply stayed where she sat. She grasped Kurt's hand in hers and eventually quieted down to a silent cry.

Blaine had gotten off the phone with Mercedes and had stopped at the door when he saw Rachel crying. He couldn't bring himself to walk in on her letting everything come out. He decided that he would call Burt and talk to him about what Mercedes and the others wanted to plan for Kurt. He walked back down the hallway and pressed the speed dial number for Burt.

" _Hello? Blaine?"_ The gruffly voice sounded on the other end of the phone. Blaine could hear the hope in the older mans voice. He hated to crush that hope, even if it only lasted for a second and he would get hopeful again.

"Mr. Hummel? Yeah It's me."

" _Blaine, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Burt?_ " Blaine couldn't help but smile.

"At least once more, as always, sir." Burt gave a small laugh on the other end.

" _So...how is he?"_ This time Blaine could hear the sadness in the mans voice. He could tell that he was getting even more worried as each day went by that Kurt didn't wake up.

"No change." Blaine could hear the sigh that emanated from Burt on the other end.

"Rachel stopped by. She's in there with Kurt right now."

" _She is? How is she doing?"_ Burt may be upset with her for what she said, but he couldn't be angry with her totally. She was feeling the same pain that Kurt and Blaine were.

"She's...she's Rachel. She's...making amends."

" _Good. I couldn't stay too mad at her Blaine. To be honest."_ He admitted.

"I know, me neither. But, I'm glad that she's in there now."

" _Me too. Nothing would feel right if they weren't speaking to each other."_

Yeah. Well, uh, I just talked to Mercedes. All the alumni want to plan a get together here at the hospital and do something for Kurt. I wanted to call you and let you know."

" _I'll be on the next flight out."_

"Good. But, they're not coming until Friday. They want to stay a whole a week."

" _That's great! Maybe some good ole' fashioned Glee songs will wake him up."_

"Yeah I hope so too. I hope that talking to him has helped."

" _I'm sure it has, Blaine."_ 'BEEP'

"Hang on Burt." Blaine said. He opened his messages and looked at the photo that popped up.

" _Oh, that's probably my flight plan. I wanted to make sure that you knew what flight we'd be on. You know, in case there's a storm or something."_

"Yeah, yeah, of course. Um, there's no return flight plan." Blaine said confused.

" _That's because I'm not leaving until Kurt is home safe and sound. I know he's safe with you. But, ever since his mom died he's hated hospitals. He just can't stand them. I know that he needs you there, but I need to be there too."_

"We'll see you soon." Is all that Blaine said. With that the two men hung up. Blaine looked outside the window just watching the other cars drive by. Each person going on with their lives unknowing of what was going on inside the hospital. It was hard for him to believe that they just didn't know.

He decided that he was done looking out the window and wanted to go check on Rachel. He walked down the hallway and said hello to a couple of the nurses who were kind to them and waved at a couple of the other patients and their families. He got to the room and looked in the window first before entering. There he saw Rachel, with her head laying on the bed next to Kurt's hand, which was grasped in her own hand. She apparently had fallen asleep. He didn't have the heart to wake her so he grabbed a blanket from the closet, and put it around her shoulders. He then went and sat down in the other chair, opposite Rachel. He sat just simply looking at his husbands face.

Oh that face, the face of the love of his life. The face that belonged to man who had helped him to grow in so many ways. The face who belonged to a man so very full of pain, emotionally and physically. The man who he helped be brave, and received the very same from. The man who he grew with.

That made Blaine think. Was Kurt in any pain right now? He was asleep, he essentially couldn't feel anything physical in his sleep. So maybe he wasn't in any pain. He was still taking meds for his leg injury from the accident, it was most likely that it was hurting by now, but the question is: can Kurt feel it? He worried about that for hours. Just sitting there worrying if Kurt was in any pain or not. If he was even-

Suddenly Blaine looked up at Kurt's hand. He didn't know why, or what made him look up, but he did. He didn't see anything out of the ordinary, Rachel was still asleep, and so was Kurt. But just as he was about to look away, he swore he saw one of Kurt's fingers move.

Blaine froze. He didn't dare move, make a sound or even breath. He watched Kurt's hand very closely hoping, praying, _begging_ for it to move again. He waited and waited, and waited, but his finger didn't move again. Blaine could feel his heart sink with each passing second that Kurt didn't move his finger again. First he just thought that he wanted him to wake up so badly, that he imagined it. Then he thought it was probably just a reflex, he remembered the doctor told them that those could happen from time to time.

Burt and Carole in the door quietly. They were too far away their flight wasn't very long. They both went and gave Blaine a hug. They lookedd at Rachel and Kurt and their hearts melted.

"Blaine, sweety why don't you go get some fresh air. Get out of this little room. We'll stay with him for a little while." Carole told him patting his shoulder and holding his hand.

With some reluctance he agreed. He walked out quietly and walked towards the stairs. He didn't want to be around anyone right now. He was so frustrated and tired, and just ready for him and Kurt to both be home. He really thought that he was waking up. He knew that it was probably the muscle thing, but he still hoped.

Still, it broke his heart. Kurt was the other half of his soul. The one thing that he couldn't live without. He was also the only thing keeping him from going over the edge of pure grief over their little girl. He couldn't stop thinking about her. Yes, he would think about her a lot already, but tomorrow was her funeral. It was the official day where Blaine would say goodbye to their little girl, and Kurt won't be able to be there. He knew that _when_ Kurt did wake up, that he was going to be very upset that he wasn't there for Elizabeth's funeral. He knew that he would still make it his fault that both her father's weren't there and make it into a situation where there was blame to give.

It wasn't like they could post-pone it. Right? The doctor that he spoke to, the one taking care of Elizabeth said that they couldn't wait very long. But, Blaine decided that he would try to see if he could have the ceremony a week from now. He wanted to give Kurt time to wake up so that he could be there to say goodbye. He was outside, getting some fresh air, upon Carol's insistence, talking on the phone with the doctor now, or the mortician actually.

"I just... I don't know when he is going to wake up. I won't have the funeral without him." Blaine explained to the mortician.

"I understand Mr. Anderson. But, there is a time when the body starts to decay and there is a limit to how long we can hold her for the funeral. Legal reasons and such. I'm very sorry you have to go through this. I can give you three weeks, but we'll have to set the funeral date by then." Blaine sighed in defeat.

"Ok. I'll figure something out. Thanks Mr. Lakes." With that the two hung up.

Blaine didn't know what to do. Kurt needed to be at her funeral, he _had_ to be at her funeral. Blaine didn't want to have it without him. He knew that Kurt would blame himself for not being there. It was something that they shouldn't have to deal with.

Blaine had enough of 'fresh air' and decided to go back inside. His mind was deep in thought as he walked the halls. He didn't notice the people he usually does. Everything that had happened, that ruined his life, happened back to back. The accident that took their daughter, Kurt's injuries, now he's back in the hospital! He just didn't know what to do. He was scared as hell right now. His thoughts led him back to Kurt's room.

The door was open just a crack and he slowly pushed it open, not wanting to disturb Burt or Carole.

"Where's Rachel?" He asked Carole quietly as Burt was sitting beside Kurt talking to him. Blaine took a seat next to the motherly woman.

"She got a call from Jesse. He and the others wanted to start planning something for Kurt. She was...still a little upset when she left. She still feels guilty about what she said. I can't be upset with her. I know exactly how she feels. I miss Finn every single day. There's not a moment that goes by that don't I want to see him. And I wanted to find something or someone to blame for his death. But, in time she'll realize that whatever the cause was, doesn't matter now. What matters now is healing, and celebrating the years that she had with us." Her words of wisdom echoed in Blaine's ears. He would remember them forever.

"Hey kiddo." Burt greeted, looking over their way. Carole smiled at him with that famous smile of hers. Blaine just gave a small smile to the couple, grateful for them more and more as each day goes by. He turns to Kurt and walks over to his usual chair and sits down. He takes Kurt's hand in his and just sits there. He sits there looking at the beautiful face of his husband, whose head was wrapped in the bright white gauze that started from above his eyebrows and ears and covered his entire head. He didn't know if they shaved his hair or not. He never thought about that. He didn't know why he started thinking about that, but he did. And right now he wanted to know. He _needed_ to know because he knew that Kurt would would panic if he looked in the mirror and saw that he was bald.

Blaine felt a little panicked himself thinking about it. It never bothered him so before. He just couldn't stand the thought of not knowing whether or not Kurt had his hair. He started to breathing heavily, he could feel the anxiety growing. In a split second decision, he decided he would go ask. So Blaine stood and went outside to the nurses station in a hurry, not knowing why he was in a hurry.

Burt and Carole looked at each other with worried expressions confused about Blaine's sudden odd behavior. They didn't know what was going on inside Blaine's head right now. There were so many different things that they knew he was dealing with. They knew the funeral was tomorrow and that he really wanted Kurt to be there. Hell, they knew that Kurt would need to be there, that he would feel so incredibly guilty if he wasn't. They gave each other another look, and walked outside and went to the nurse's station, following the raised upset voice of one Blaine Anderson-Hummel.

"-then find someone who was in there! Please! I need an answer!" Blaine was antsy and his voice was raised. They didn't think that he realized that he was causing a scene.

"Blaine. Just calm down, kiddo. It's ok-"

"No it's not ok! They should've asked before they did it! They don't know what it means to him! I need to talk to a nurse that helped with Kurt's operation now!"

"Okay, we will notify them to speak with you as soon as they comes in. There's only one from his surgery scheduled in right now." The nurse said politely. She knew that he didn't mean to be brusque. She knew that he was stressed under the circumstances.

"Fine, then where's his doctor?"

"Blaine!"Burt stepped in front of Blaine, blocking his view of the nurse.

"Come on, kid. Just calm down. We'll talk to the doctor ok? She has other people to worry about. We're not the only ones in this hospital." Burt had grasped Blaine's shoulders to try and help calm him down. Blaine looked at him and realized that he was right. He took a moment and looked around the room. Some of the staff and patients both were looking their way. He immediately felt ten times smaller. In that moment he just wanted to disappear. Before he left to Kurt's room, he stepped aside of Burt and looked at the nurse he yelled at.

"I am so incredibly sorry! I don't know what came over me. I just..."

"I know. It's ok, honey. I understand what you're going through. I may not know how you feel, but I understand. And I can give the doctor a quick call. If she's busy I'll leave a message for you." Blaine had the most apologetic expression on his face. He couldn't believe how he acted.

"Thank you." Blaine said quietly. Everyone went back to their business or to their room, leaving the distraught family alone. Burt watched as Blaine slowly and quietly walked back to Kurt's room. Burt followed behind him and stopped him at the doorway.

"Hey. I'm not lecturing you or anything, but just what was that back there? What's going on?" Burt asked, genuinely worried about his son in law. Blaine looked at his father in law and couldn't help but tear up.

"I just...I saw the bandage on his head and I thought about how picky Kurt is about his hair, how he would freak out if one piece was out of place, and then I just couldn't... and... I don't know, I guess I just freaked out." Blaine combed a hand through his curly hair, and Burt didn't miss the sign of stress.

"Hey, I know kiddo. I understand, I really do." Burt said placing a hand on Blaine's shoulder. That boy became a part of their family the moment Burt realized that he truly made Kurt happy, and safe. It felt like yesterday that Burt and Carole were going through similar feelings. They lost a child too.

Carole moved into Kurt's room to give the two men some privacy. She hated that he was feeling this way and she hated that there was nothing that she could do to help. She simply went over to Kurt, who was still unmoving and oh too quiet. She admitted to herself that she missed him, she missed her _son_. Ever since she and Burt got married, he was already her son. They had a bond, not one like him and his real mother, but their own special little bond. It warmed her heart that he never discredited her as being a part of his family.

"His hair, it will grow back. If they cut it. If they didn't, that's great. But-"

"But the most important thing is that he's alive. I know, I shouldn't have lost it like that. I-" Blaine let out a heavy sigh. He didn't know what he was feeling. He didn't know if he felt sad, if he felt angry, or tired, or stressed out. Maybe that was because he was feeling all of those at the same time, and so strongly that he couldn't tell which was which right now. He just wanted to scream! He wanted to scream into the heavens as loud as he possibly could! He wanted everything he was feeling to go away. He wanted to be able to wake up in the morning and not feel a pain in his chest. He wanted to wake up and see the eyes of his loving husband again. He wanted to wake to hear their little girl's voice telling them to wake up.

He wanted to hold Kurt's hand, look at his face and tell him that he loves him. He wanted to see their little girl dancing in the living room. He wanted to see Kurt awake, to hear him talk, sing, anything. He couldn't stand not hearing their voices. It felt as if each morning the hole in his heart kept getting bigger and bigger. He felt so...alone.

Blaine just fell into the chair next to him that was placed by the door. He always knew what he wanted in his life. What he wanted his future to be like, and that was to have a family with Kurt. Plain and simple. But, if he couldn't have that life, if he didn't get to spend the rest of his life with Kurt by his side, he wasn't sure what his future would be like then.

Just then, Dr. Kim walked up to them in the hallway. She was holding a clipboard and a large envelope, and her face had a neutral expression.

"Mr. Anderson? Mr. Hummel?"

"Dr. Kim!" Blaine exclaimed, and stood quickly.

"Hey, doc. Got any good news?" Burt asked her hopeful for some, while shaking her hand.

"I do have some news. Now I can't honestly tell you whether it's good or bad." Blaine and Burt didn't like the sound of that.

"Nurse Kacey is just gonna give Kurt a quick check up. Why don't we go talk in my office." Blaine stood there, afraid to move. He didn't know why, but he had a _really_ bad feeling about the conversation that they were about to have. Blaine began to follow the doctor down the hall as Burt peaked his head into Kurt's room to let Carole know where he was going. She wanted to stay with Kurt, so that he wouldn't be alone. Burt nodded in agreement and left to catch up to Blaine and Dr. Kim.

In Dr. Kim's office. Burt and Blaine were seated facing Dr Kim while she sat down at her desk. Burt and Blaine had nervous and uncomfortable expressions on their faces and they didn't go unnoticed by the doctor.

"We received the scans post Kurt's surgery. The bleed in his brain has been repaired. The bleeding has stopped."

"Well that's great news!" Burt exclaimed. He looked happy, excited, but looked like he felt something else.

"Blaine, you okay? Did you hear her? They stopped the bleed."

"There's something else though, isn't there? Something you haven't said yet." Blaine asked her with tear filled eyes.

"Well-" Just as she spoke there was a knock on the door and that same nurse, Nurse Kacey, from earlier walked into the room with a piece of paper.

"Thank you Jimmy." She said gratefully. She looked at the paper for a moment and a curtain mixture of relief and horror appeared on her face, making her look ten years older than she was.

"What is it?" Burt asked. Blaine was too afraid, too frightened to say anything. He was terrified that something worse was just about to be explained to them, if it were possible that something was worse right now.

"During the procedure, the doctors identified something that shouldn't have been there. It was noticed in the scans pre surgery, as you were told."

"What is it?" Blaine said in that small, child-like voice. Burt hated hearing him speak in that voice. Just when he thought his heart couldn't break even more...it did.

"It's a brain tumor."

"Tumor?!" Blaine asked horrified. Burt took a deep breath. He had cancer a long time ago while Kurt was in college, but he never thought that Kurt would end up with something too.

"Now the results of the scan we performed on that tumor, which Mr. Kacey just brought, show that it's benign, meaning that it's not cancerous."

"It's not cancer?" Blaine couldn't believe his ears.

"It that's what's causing him to stay in a coma?"

"Yes, in his case it is the cause of his comatose state. The tumor was removable-"

"Sorry, did you say _was_?" Burt had a hint of a smile on his face.

"Yes, we were able to get proof in time that it was benign and the doctor operating on Kurt was able to look at an MRI scan which placed it near the primary motor cortex. That controls the movement of the body. After repairing the bleed he saw that it was removable. Now that it was removed, it will be quite a while before he can go home. His brain needs time to heal, and he'll need time to recover. However, I expect a full recovery."

"Really? How long before he wakes up and can go home?" Blaine asked with a small smile on his face.

"Well I'd say within the span of about two weeks, he'll wake up and heal up enough to go home." Burt and Blaine were ecstatic. Kurt wasn't awake yet, but at least he was going to be ok. Well, physically at least.

Maybe, just maybe things will be ok.


	9. Chapter 9

Everything seemed different after hearing the news that Kurt was going to be ok. He couldn't explain it exactly. The hospital, the people, the staff all looked different somehow, which seemed like a good thing to him. He just felt so happy that he was going to be ok. Well, the doctor said that he wasn't out of the woods yet. He still had to recover without any complications, but the worse part was over. Now all they waited on was for Kurt to wake up. They knew that it was going to be a few days before he woke up, he needed to rest and heal.

If Blaine wasn't anxious enough to see Kurt's eyes, or hear his voice before, he definitely was now. Knowing the he would eventually wake up, made Blaine extremely impatient. He knew it would take time, but it had also been a lot of time since the last he did hear his voice. All he wanted right now was Kurt. He didn't want to be anywhere else, he didn't want to do anything except be with Kurt.

He couldn't though, he had a funeral to go to. He just couldn't do cremation. He knew that Kurt never wanted cremation for anyone, he couldn't stand the thought of burning someone he loved, let alone his daughter. To be frank, Blaine didn't care for it either, it scared him a little. He had to do the funeral. They were out of time and cremation was not an option. Blaine had talked to Burt about the option but Burt told him that he too believed Kurt would never want cremation. So he made his decision, now he just had to talk to Rachel about it.

"You want to do what with her?" She just about screamed into Blaine's ear, her voice raised a few octaves. Blaine had to take a second to recover.

"No, Rachel. I don't want cremation. She's your daughter too! I wanted to ask." He said. Rachel seemed to calm down knowing that he had said no to cremation.

"No way, no cremation." She said wiping away a stray tear.

"Okay." Blaine knew that it was the right decision, but he couldn't help but feel guilty. He felt as if he was making the wrong decision because Kurt won't be at the funeral. They had to have it within the next two days. The morgue couldn't wait any longer. Kurt wasn't showing any signs of waking up yet. He was not looking forward to telling Kurt that he missed his daughter's funeral. He didn't have a choice, and he knew that Kurt was going to blame himself and feel terrible about not being able to go even though he really couldn't. He won't believe that it's not his fault, and it was going to be hard to make him understand that.

"What's wrong?" Rachel asked rubbing Blaine's shoulder. She looked at him worriedly until he spoke.

"Kurt. He's not going to be there." Blaine and Rachel didn't say anything else. They both knew that it was going to be an even harder road to recovery for Kurt than they thought.

So here he was, now, dressed in a black suite, staring at himself in the mirror. His eyes were red and puffy, his hands were shaky, and he was struggling to not cry his eyes out. He saw Burt and Carole walk up behind him. He knew that looking at them would make him let all the tears loose, if there even anymore tears for him shed. He had cried so much in the past few months, he thought he'd be dried up by now.

Burt placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder. He too had red, puffy eyes. Carole held Burt's other hand and she was silently crying, unable to hide the sadness for her son and son-in-law, and for her granddaughter. Blaine felt the hand on his shoulder and he closed his eyes, tear escaping down his cheeks. He looked and turned around to Carole handing him a tissue. He smiled a small smile at her and took it. He cleaned up and left the bathroom. They stopped at the door to Kurt's room. Burt and Carole looked back to Blaine.

"I'll be right there. I just need a minute." They nodded their understanding and left for the elevator.

Blaine turned toward the door and took a deep breath. He walked in slowly. He eyes landed on Kurt, whose condition still had yet to change. He stood there for a moment, taking in Kurt's appearance for what felt like the first time. He was skinny, _really_ skinny. His cheeks were just about hollow, causing his cheek bones to stand so much more than usual. The gown he wore seemed as if he was three sizes too big. The collar of it was so loose Blaine could see Kurt's collar bone, which was too visible. It pained him to see his husband in such a state. He walked over slowly, not taking his eyes off of him. He leaned down and place a gentle kiss on Kurt's cheek. He stood up slowly, still looking at his husband.

He knew he had to go. He was weary of leaving Kurt alone. One of the nurses offered to sit with him while they were gone, and Blaine was eternally grateful. He heard someone enter the room quietly. He felt them walk up behind him.

"Mr. Anderson?" It was that nurse, nurse Kaye. She was shorter than Blaine. Her eyes were a bright brown, her hair in a tight bun on the back of her head, the dark color popping out against her pale skin. She had gentle and emotion revealing eyes. Blaine liked that about her. He knew what she was going to say.

"Thank you." He said quietly, barely above a whisper. The nurse nodded and took a seat on the other side of Kurt. Blaine started to walk out of the room. He felt the urge to turn around and look at Kurt again, but he couldn't. He couldn't turn around and look at his husband lying a hospital bed, stuck there while he went to their daughter's funeral.

It took about twenty-five to thirty minutes for everyone to arrive and get settled. They were outside within the cemetery. There were flowers everywhere, chairs were placed for the immediate family. There was a chair for Blaine, Burt, Carole, Rachel, Jesse, and...Kurt. It broke everyone's heart that his seat would remain empty. The immediate family were there first, all standing near there chairs. They received hugs and condolences from friends and family members. Some of the glee alumni from different year showed up and gave them all hugs. The younger alumni really only knew Blaine and Rachel. Blaine saw his mom walked towards him. She had tear stained face and he couldn't be happier to see her. He had spoken with her about everything, but she was overseas and she had trouble getting back home. He was so grateful that she was able to make it.

"Oh, sweetie." Was all she could say. She held her son tightly in her arms, never wanting to let go. She couldn't imagine the pain he was feeling. He lost his only child, and the love of his life was unable to attend the funeral because of the coma. Her son was carrying so much pain and agony inside of him and she wanted nothing than to make it go away. But she couldn't', she knew that. All she could do was be there for her son, and help him in any way possible.

Blaine hugged his mother back tightly. Everything was kind of a blur. It happened so fast. Everyone arrived, he gave pretty much everyone a hug. Many, many tears were shed, and words spoken. Flower were place upon a smooth, black marble coffin, that was just too small. Blaine place a second flower for Kurt. Everyone had placed a red rose on the casket, but Blaine placed two white roses on black surface. He knew that Kurt preferred white. It symbolized innocence, and purity. Both qualities of which he believed their daughter to have. The roses made Blaine think about Kurt even more that he already was. A few tears escaped his crossed expression. He turned and walked away, feeling, with each step, a piece of his heart breaking.

It was official now. Their daughter was gone. They would have to start grieving and then going through the steps of grief and eventually move on. But, could they? Could they actually move on? How? By having another child? Would Kurt even want to have another child after Elizabeth? They had never talked about if they lost their only child if they would eventually have another. Would that be kind of like replacing her? What kind of parents would that make them? He didn't know if he even wanted to try for another child. If they did, it would be a very long before they tried.

For now, he needed to focus on Kurt. Helping him to wake up and to get better. He needed him to get better. He was unsure of pretty much everything. He didn't know what to do with himself. He didn't what he _would_ do with himself. His daughter was gone, he couldn't stop saying that to himself. His daughter was gone. It's such a foreign phrase. He never he'd have to use those words. He didn't know what words to use. She was gone, and Kurt was still in a coma. All he knew was that he felt...alone.

A few days later, he sat in the room that had been home for the past few weeks, just watching his husband intently, wishing he would wake up. Today was the day everyone came by to see Kurt. They had put a little something together for him while they were away. Whatever it was, Blaine didn't know if it was selfish or rude, but he felt like he didn't want to do anything big. He just wanted to be there, with Kurt, in a nice and quiet room. He wanted nothing more than to go home with his husband.

He started to think about how they first met. He didn't know why, but his mind just simply wondered to those days. He thought about how much they grew since then, he realized just then how much. So many things have changed. Some for the better, some for the worst. He just wanted to be back there, for just a moment. To live the somewhat carefree life of a teenager. To go hang out with your friends doing the thing that you love. Surprisingly, he missed some of the drama, too. He missed...well Kurt. One song popped into his head. One song that he would never forget. He had already sand it to him twice. Maybe it would help him wake up. Sometimes he seems to respond to song better than words.

He slowly scooted up in his chair and leaned forward. He grabbed Kurt's hand gracefully and began to sing.

" _You think I'm pretty without any make-up on_

 _You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong_

 _I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down_

 _Before you met me, I was a wreck  
But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life  
Now every February you'll be my valentine, valentine_

 _Let's go all the way tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can dance until we die  
You and I, we'll be young forever_

 _You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream  
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep  
Let's runaway and don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back_

 _My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch, now baby I believe  
This is real, so take a chance  
And don't ever look back, don't ever look back_

 _We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach  
Got a motel and built a fort out of sheets  
I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece  
I'm complete_

Blaine stopped to take a small breath. His emotions were increasing with each note. He was glad that he did this in private with Kurt. He just wanted it to be the two of them, together.

 _Let's go all the way tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can dance until we die  
You and I, we'll be young forever_

 _You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream  
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep  
Let's runaway and don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back_

 _My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch, now baby I believe  
This is real, so take a chance  
And don't ever look back, don't ever look back_

 _I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight  
Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight_

 _You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream  
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep  
Let's runaway and don't ever look back  
Don't ever look back_

 _My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch, now baby I believe  
This is real, so take a chance  
And don't ever look back, don't ever look back_

 _I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight  
Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans  
Be your teenage dream tonight"_

After finishing the song Blaine took another deep breath. He stood still where he sat, just watching Kurt sleep. He wiped away a few tears and brought Kurt's hand up to his lips and kissed the soft, smooth, and pale skin. He closed his eyes and for the first time, he prayed. He prayed for Kurt to wake up, he prayed for him to be there at their daughter's funeral, he prayed that one day the pain wouldn't feel so bad. There was just so much that was on his heart right now he couldn't keep holding it in. He let tear after tear fall from his eyes, and after a moment of looking at Kurt's peaceful face, he let it all out. He gently placed his head on the bed, still holding Kurt's hand and began to cry.

He felt like he cried for hours when he felt a sudden foreign movement near his hand. He looked down and saw a single finger moving up and down. It was a small movement, almost undetectable, but it was still there. He looked up a Kurt quickly. He anxiously stood and moved closer to Kurt's head. He looked at any sign of consciousness from Kurt, but found none. He looked back down at Kurt's finger, and it was unmoving again. He waited a few more seconds to be sure, but there was no sign of any movement again.

He sat down back in his chair with a sigh. Every time Kurt had a muscle spasm he jumped with excitement and hope. He could feel his heart break each time that it wasn't him waking up. He felt as if all his hope was slowly slipping away. But, he knew that in doing that, he was giving up on Kurt, and he swore to never do that. This was just the hardest thing he has ever had to go through, and though he as surrounded by family and friends, he felt he was going through this alone. He didn't want to feel this way, he just did. His thoughts led him to lean back in his chair, holding Kurt's hand and watching the busy people walk past the window to their room.

Everyone else was at home, some were going to sleep for the night, some were still up, like, Blaine, thinking about Kurt. The thought about the good times they had, they about how he was generous, smart, crazy talented. They thought about how much they miss him. The realized now how big a part he played in their Glee club. He gave them that special edge, he gave them, uniqueness. He was special, so so special. He didn't take what he had for granted, his still doesn't. His voice is who he is, it's a part of him. They admired him for his courage, from the very beginning. He had grown stronger over the years and they knew, that he would be strong enough to get through this. He would heal, they attend their daughter's funeral, they would grieve, but they would also celebrate her life.

Blaine knew that everyone felt the same. They're a family, they stick together, no matter what. They would always be there for each other, whatever they needed, whenever they needed it, they would be there. It actually reminded him of something that Kurt said to him so many years ago. He remembered what they were wearing, where they were, and what had happened. They were in the courtyard outside the cafeteria at McKinley, Kurt had just transferred back there and he and the Warblers sang a farewell song to him for Dalton Academy. He said-

"I'll never say goodbye to you." Blaine didn't think he said it out loud. He knew he didn't say it out loud. He looked up from where his head moved to stare at the floor. His eyes rested on soft, beautiful blue, green, grey eyes staring back at him.

"K-Kurt?" Blaine asked with a quiver in his voice. He sat up quickly and moved closer to his husband who smiled at him, actually smiled at him. His heart was racing, his eyes were flooding with fresh tears, he put Kurt's hand that he held into both of his and kissed it. He stood a little and bent over to Kurt to press a kiss against his temple. He cupped the opposite side of Kurt's face just looking at him.

"Hey! Hi! You're awake, thank God you're awake. I- I love you so much." Blaine couldn't help the break in his voice. He was so overwhelmed with emotion he couldn't contain it. He looked at Kurt again, who was awake and looking at him with tears in his eyes as well. Blaine placed another kiss to Kurt's hand.

"I love you too, Blaine." Kurt took a moment top look at his husband and then look around the room. He couldn't remember why he was in the hospital. He felt tired, weak, his head hurt a lot. He noticed his throat was dry so he licked his lips and tried to clear his throat which was feeling sore.

"What happened?" Kurt whispered.

"What do you remember Kurt?" Blaine asked sitting down and scooting his chair closer so he could still touch Kurts cheek. Kurt closed his eyes to try and remember.

"We were in the choir room, we were at Lizzie's memorial. I remember hearing Rachel screaming...the rest is kind of fuzzy."

"That's ok. That's good." Both men were quiet for a moment before Blaine spoke again. He knew that Kurt needed to know what happened. He wanted to tell him so that they could get it behind them.

"You had a seizure, Kurt. They did a procedure to...Kurt they removed a tumor." Kurt's eyes widened a little at the mention of a tumor.

"But, you're okay, it wasn't cancerous. They removed it and now you're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine." Kurt relaxed at hearing those words. It was still scary to hear though. Then it hit him, Elizabeth. He didn't know why he didn't remember, he remembered the memorial service for crying out loud! His eyes immediately started to fill with tears. He squeezed Blaine's hand, and closed his eyes, shedding a tear or two. Blaine saw the tears and he knew what he remembered. that was all it took for Blaine to know. He looked at Blaine, his eyes wide and already filled to the brim with tears.

"Lizzie." Kurt's voice was so small, raw and full of emotion that Blaine couldn't keep it in anymore. He let lose all the frustration he felt, all the loneliness, the fear, the sadness, the grief. He cried into Kurt's shoulder unable to control it. Kurt began to cry, too, albeit not as hard as Blaine, he was still too weak. They stayed there, in each others arms, crying over their lost little girl. They didn't what was going to happen, they didn't know what tomorrow would be like, but one thing they did know; they had each other back, and they weren't going anywhere.

...

Over the next few weeks, Kurt recovered in the hospital. He and Blaine mostly kept to themselves. But, when friends and family did come to visit, they wished they'd never leave. Sometimes they wished they could be alone, but they knew that they needed family there with them. It was very hard the first few weeks. Kurt would wake up crying because he would remember that she was gone, and then he would remember that he didn't attend her funeral, that he _couldn't_ attend her funeral, which made him even more upset.

The Glee alumni came and performed some songs to express how they were feeling. More than anything they talked. They talked about the old days at McKinley, they talked about things were with them, trying to get their minds off of Lizzie. Kurt hardly said anything, he mostly stared at the window. He would respond when someone spoke to him and he would talk for a little while, but then he went back to the window.

One day Blaine came back to the room after getting some lunch when he saw Kurt standing at the window. He was just looking outside. He hospital gown hung off him like it was three sizes too big. His arms loosely hanging by his sides. Blaine didn't know what to say. Instead he just sat the food down, walked over slowly and quietly, and stared out of the window too. He still didn't say anything, knowing that nothing could be said that would help right now. So, Blaine took Kurt's hand in his they kept staring out the window. Neither talked, neither moved.

Kurt was distant, yet so close. He wasn't closing himself off to Blaine, he just didn't have to express what he was feeling, because Blaine knew how he was feeling. He just didn't know how help him.

Blaine had never been unsure about how to help Kurt, with pretty much anything. All he could do was be there for his husband. He was grieving too. How were two parents supposed to grieve for their child together when they grieved differently? They hardly talked, not really knowing what to say. It wasn't until Burt took Blaine outside of Kurt's hospital room to talk to him, that everything changed. Kurt was ready to go home. The doctors said they were releasing him.

They didn't know what to do at the hospital, what were they going to do at home? Home meant family, it was your safe place, somewhere you could go no matter how hard things would get, and it would always be there, she would always be there. It was scary to think about. They weren't too sure about going home.

"I don't want to go home." Kurt had told Blaine. It tore at Blaine's broken heart to hear him say that. Kurt was so sad about it. He always had this special thing, that if your day was going terrible and you needed to get away, just go home. Home will be there, it will be nice and warm, and it will keep all the nasty stuff away. Now? Now it would remind them of the one precious light that they lost, and Kurt was scared to go.

"I know, Kurt. I know." They went anyway. Kurt put up a little resistance at first, but then for some reason, he couldn't wait to get home. Blaine felt as if he was in a rush or something. What scared him? He didn't know if that was a bad thing or a good thing.

Once they got home, Blaine helped Kurt out of the car and into the house. He sat him on their entryway bench and went to get their bags. When Blaine got back, Kurt wasn't at the door anymore. He set the bags down, closed and locked the door (you never know what could happen in New York City) and slowly walked into the living room. He looked around in the lounge area and the kitchen first, but then he heard crying from the hallway. He turned and followed the sobs down the hallway to empty room, with pink walls.

There Kurt was, sitting on Lizzie's little bed, hugging her pillow just crying his eyes out. Blaine felt weak at the sight. He tried to walk over to Kurt, but when he got closer his legs suddenly felt like jell-o and he fell to his knees in front of his distraught husband. He and Kurt locked eyes, silently crying. Blaine just slowly placed his head into Kurt's lap. Kurt put the pillow down and brushed his hands through Blaine's non gelled hair. He leaned down and placed a kiss on Blaine's head and they sat there crying, letting everything out. They just...cried.

After that day they didn't go back into that room for months. Kurt got well again and went back to work. Blaine went back too, but with less hours. He wanted to spend as much time with Kurt as possible and they did. They had finally gotten back to their normal schedules. They tried having their date nights again. The first was pretty awkward, but they finally got back into the pace of things. The room was a constant reminder though. Every time they would pass it, they would feel a pang of guilt in their hearts, guilt for trying to move on.

Burt wanted to visit them practically every week but, he knew that they would need space. So he wait about two months, then he called to make sure they were up for the company. Kurt told him that could stop by whenever he wanted, just not every week. For the first time in a very long time, they laughed. It was a very special moment. Blaine came home and he heard something that he hadn't hear in so long, he thought it was the television. It was Kurt laughing. It didn't last very long, but it was still there. Maybe they would be okay after all.

About a month and a half after that Burt came to see them and saw a big truck right outside their apartment. There were boxes being moved, furniture being placed in that big truck. Burt squeezed passed the movers and went straight the apartment. It was his sons' apartment that they were taking stuff out of. At first he just thought that he had the wrong apartment. He checked the number and he was in the right place. He walked inside and saw that they already had half of everything outside.

"Kurt!" He hollered. He saw his son following someone down the hallway with a heavy lamp.

"Please be careful, it's antique!" He instructed in a huff. The guy just kept walking towards the door and rolled his eyes along the way. If Burt wasn't in shock he would have laughed. Kurt noticed his father and went over to him giving him a hug.

"Hey dad." He said softly. Burt hugged him back giving him a quizzical look after letting go.

"Kurt, what's going on?" He asked, his hand lightly grasping his son's shoulder.

"We found a new place. It's a lot closer to where we both work, and the park's just a block away. It's sruprisingly cheap for an apartment so close to downtown."

"Okay, that's great. I didn't know you two wanted to move. I could've helped you know." He said smiling. Kurt gave him a small smile. But then it disappeared quickly.

"Son, what's wrong? Why do you guys want to move?" Kurt played with his hands for a moment. He looked down the hallway and without looking away, he told him.

"We pass by her room everyday. We have to walk past it to get to our bedroom, so most nights I end sleeping on the couch, we both do. We just, we can't." Burt rubbed his son's back affectionately. He shook his head, knowing all too well that feeling. He felt the same for a few weeks when Finn passed away. He pulled his son in for another hug and Kurt didn't protest, he just hugged his father back. He knew they made the right decision. It was for the best.

About a week and a half later they had a house warming party. Most of the alumni were there, Puck, Quinn, Brittany, Artie, Sam, Tina and Mike were together, just getting back from their honeymoon. Rachel and Jesse, who lived close by anyway came for the whole party. Mercedes and Santana couldn't get away. Mercedes was on tour and told them she would come by as soon as she could. Santana was at a premiere of her show across seas. She said she would make it to see them whenever she could get a break. After the party some of them stayed a few extra days wanting to help out. They had some fun. Brittany, Tina and Rachel all had a sleepover with Kurt. Puck, Mike and Sam had taken Blaine out. For a few days it seemed like everything was back to normal. Well, somewhat normal.

Both Kurt and Blaine looked around their surroundings at their friends, thinking that they would be okay. Eventually, they would be ok.


End file.
